Marital Bliss (Or Not)
by Admiral T. DeVanto
Summary: "Hanji Zoe, will you be my wife?" Yeah, Levi probably should have explained that it was all for the mission first. But he blamed Erwin, of course.
1. Chapter 1

"You must be mad if you expect me to go through with this," Levi stated blankly. He folded his arms as he casually leaned back in his seat. Yet for all his calm, poised demeanor, the glare he leveled at Erwin was fierce.

The Commander simply smiled, a hint of amusement and glee shining in his eyes. "Madness is not my strong suit. I leave that to Hanji."

Levi scowled. "You are enjoying this way too much."

Erwin shrugged. "Do not deprive me of the simplest joys I may find in life."

"And one of your joys is sending me on a mission disguised as a high born trader?" Levi demanded.

"You are the only one I trust to send," Erwin stated simply. "Not to mention your skills and expertise would be greatly needed." His eyes flickered over to Levi's knee. "There is also another matter entirely," he continued. "You have barely contained yourself inside the base with your injury."

Levi's hand flexed as it brushed up against his knee, the one that he had damaged when he had saved Eren from the Female Titan. When his entire squad, save for Yeager, were slaughtered.

"Besides," Erwin said, pulling Levi out of his grim thoughts. "You might enjoy it. It will be good for you."

Levi scowled. "You think I am in need of coddling?" he demanded, irked. The very thought that Erwin regarded him in such a way was highly offensive.

Erwin scoffed. "Of course not. I am simply stating that...we all need to have some time to ourselves."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "No one just gets 'time to themselves.' Or are you just trying to get rid of me?" His tone was not yet accusing, yet he enjoyed seeing Erwin come up with different, persuasive reasons as to why Levi should agree with this plan.

Erwin sighed in exasperation. "No, I am not trying to get rid of you." He leveled a glare at Levi. "Why can't you just accept this assignment without question?"

Levi leaned back and folded his legs, careful with his damaged knee. "I would have accepted this without question," and he would have, he really would. He had sworn to follow Erwin wherever the commander ordered him to go. But today, of all days, he was finding it immensely difficult to follow that simple vow. "It's just your choice in my partner that gives me pause."

Erwin folded his hands. "What? You think it is a bad fit?"

"I think it is a terrible fit," Levi stated. He smirked when he saw Erwin rub his forehead tiredly. Oh, he was going to make the commander's migraine explode with his arguments. "What makes you think we won't kill each other during the mission?"

"Because the two of you have always worked so well together before," Erwin sighed, head in his hand as he glanced at Levi with a blank stare.

"That's because we've never been alone." Levi paused. "For a while, that is."

"This won't take long," Erwin reminded him. "Less than a week, maybe."

Levi frowned. "Maybe?" he echoed.

"It depends how long you two can perform the mission without causing much suspicion," Erwin stated.

Levi sat back in his seat. "So, you received a message from someone high up in the chain of command who is looking for his runaway daughter?" he clarified.

Erwin nodded. "Emilie Zachies," he stated, passing a small slip of paper to Levi. The captain merely raised an eyebrow at the small picture of the young girl. Her blonde, shoulder length hair was done up in the usual fashion trend, and her complexion looked sweet and enduring as she smiled. Levi had to guess that the painter over exaggerated on her flawlessness when he put this portrait together.

"She ran away from her family two weeks ago with her lover, quite possibly to elope," Erwin continued. "Her lover, Jaque Bosh, is a low born who is known for his skills in forgary, mainly paintings. Naturally, he has run into trouble with the law before."

"Girls like the bad boys." Levi frowned. "The situation is nothing unique. Did she get cramped in her gilded cage and wanted to spring herself from daddy's comfy palace? She might find the real world with a criminal harder than she expected."

"Something like that, but don't repeat that in front of her father," Erwin said.

"So why are we bothering with this?" Levi asked.

Erwin slid a small stack of papers over to Levi. "Because just three days ago, Lord Zachies received a letter in his daughter's handwriting. She feared for her life and knew that she had made a mistake in running of with Mr. Bosh." Erwin sat back ever so slightly. "She wants to come home and escape her relationship, but she is unable to do it alone and her exact location is not known. However, we were able to pinpoint exactly where she might show up. Jaque is most likely going to show up at a festival." Here, Erwin pulled out a small map of a city. "An art exhibit is going to be displayed, and Jaque is known to admire such art. It is there that we might find Emilie."

Levi frowned, disinterested as he flipped through the folder. "This is not something that falls into the Scouts category," he stated.

"I informed Lord Zachies that we would do everything we can to find his daughter," Erwin replied.

"Well, did you also tell him that the Military Police are better suited for this job?" Levi asked, handing the papers back.

"Lord Zachies came to me first and foremost," Erwin replied as he received the papers. "He only wants the best in the field for this mission, and I recommended you."

"Thank you," Levi muttered.

Erwin folded his hands and rested them on the desk as he leaned forward. "You are to find Emilie and bring her back. We have been insured Lord Zachies's full support should we accept this mission. Naturally, I agreed. The profits are very promising."

"They would have to be," Levi stated. He fixed his gaze on Erwin. "Why can I not go alone?" he countered, eyes narrowed. "I perform just well by myself." In fact, his skills were always at their height when he was alone.

"Because one man alone will attract more attention and be easy to identify in a setting such as this," Erwin said. "But a married man and his wife, that will be more than useful."

"Why married?" Levi exclaimed. "Was signing me up as a married man really necessary?"

"Because a married couple rather then two lovers will not ignite as much gossip," Erwin retorted. "But knowing you two, the entire Wall will be up in smoke with your antics."

Levi smirked at the comment. "I do know how to ignite such gossip."

"Just say you'll do it and come back in one piece," Erwin grumbled.

Levi shrugged as he stood up, brushing his coat off of any offending dirt. "No promises," he stated simply.

"You will have to inform her of the mission," Erwin said. He slid a small, black box across the desk to Levi. "Here's the ring. When you arrive at the inn, the two of you will scout out the area and stage a simple rescue for Emilie."

Levi stared at it with a scowl, as if the box was the reason for all his miseries. "Why me?" he demanded. "Why do I have to be the one to inform my partner of all this? You're the commander."

"Because you will be the husband," Erwin said with a smirk, and Levi now knew for a fact that the commander was enjoying this. "Congratulations Levi, she is a lucky woman indeed."

Levi huffed and snatched the box up. "You have no idea," he grumbled.

However, as Levi walked down the halls, his strides full of purpose as he set out to track down his partner, he could not help but smirk as a playful thought occurred to him. Yes, he might be reluctant to be placed in such a situation, yet he knew he could stir up some trouble while he was gone. After all, he bored easily, and his partner was going to be so easy to rile up. That, and he was going a bit stir crazy with being coped up in the fortress. He was just about to count the tiles on the ceiling before the walls finally closed in on him.

The sun hit his eyes just right as he stepped outside. He blinked for a moment, his gaze surveying the area thoughtfully. Finally, his gaze fell on the one figure who was chatting excitedly with a few uninterested scouts.

He let out a breath, pulling the box out of his pocket before striding toward the group. He did not want to do this in front of the others, but it seemed like it could not be helped, and he did want to get it over with rather quickly. One thing was for sure, he was never going to live this down.

However, upon noticing his arrival, the captive group became very eager to escape and took his presence as an excuse to leave. Good, then he didn't have to do this in front of an audience.

Hanji turned to look at him with a confused frown when he cleared his throat, before her face lit up. "Levi! What brings you out here? Surely not my wonderful studies!"

Levi huffed. "No, not your weird obsessions, that's for sure. Just a question that desires an answer." With that, he displayed the box to her, opening it to reveal the glittering ring inside. "Hanji Zoe, will you be my wife?"

* * *

 **A/N: Oh, look, it's a lonely little review box that needs some readers insight.**


	2. Chapter 2

Hanji Zoe stared down at the ring with a raised eyebrow and finally brought her eyes up to look at Levi once the initial shock had worn out. She smirked, placing a hand on her hip as Levi's true intentions became clear. She knew full well that he was not serious about this, and she was not going to fall for a simple prank. "Wow Levi, didn't know you felt that way."

She took great delight in seeing the annoyance flash through Levi, though his expression stayed blank. "Will you just accept the ring?" he sighed. Already, he seemed ready to walk away from the situation, which confused her even more. His reaction told her all that she needed to know, and that he was expecting her response to be a positive one.

Well, why not throw a wrench in his plans?

"No," she said simply, folding her arms.

Levi did not move for several seconds. But in some miraculous way, his gaze did grow darker without changing his expression. Hanji ignored her first instinct, which was to run, and instead decided to stick around and watch the results.

She realized her mistake when Levi's hand shot out suddenly and grabbed her ponytail, forcing her to look directly into his eyes, which were now sharp with annoyance. "You will accept my proposal, or I will break your bird beaked nose," he hissed.

Despite the threat and sudden close proximity, Hanji still smirked. A riled up Levi was a fun Levi. "If this is how you go about expressing your affections to women, you're going to have to do a bit better," she stated. "Call me old fashioned, but I really don't like it when my man threatens to break my nose for a ring."

Levi growled, a sound that resembled an unholy beast that was threatening to burst. With that, Hanji's wariness grew. Her wariness increased tenfold when Levi pulled her closer, their noses almost touching. "Listen," he said, his voice low. "Don't make this any harder on me. Commander Erwin already told you about this mission of ours with rescuing that spoiled brat. But if you are making this difficult before we have even begun, then I am seriously reconsidering this partnership of ours."

Hanji blinked before frowning. Yes, Commander Erwin had told her before that she would be teaming up with Levi to track down a young runaway. But what was this whole marriage thing about?

Her eyes widened as a sudden thought occurred to her. Oh no. Levi couldn't possibly…? But one glance down at the ring showed her once more that he did indeed.

Levi Ackerman really, truly wanted to marry her.

She let out a tired sigh. Oh boy. How to let the little guy down gently?

"Look, Levi," she said with what she hoped was a sweet smile. "I like you, I really do, but I don't like you enough to become Mrs. Neatfreak. Okay?"

Levi blinked, and she thought for a moment that she had broken him with her blunt truth. However, he just seemed as equally confused as she had felt. "This is part of the mission!" he exclaimed, letting go of her hair and stepping back. "We are to pose as a married couple!"

Hanji's smirk fell from her face, and she was instantly overcome with confusion. "We are to what?" she demanded. Of all the…

"Married, Four-Eyes," Levi hissed. "You and I are to be...married."

Her heart clenched. "Well, not legally, right?"

Levi scoffed. "Of course not."

With that, Hanji relaxed slightly, though she was still trying to make sense of the situation before her. Her and Levi as a married couple? Erwin must really want the entire town to suffer from this combination. If the commander was behind this, then he had some explaining to do as well.

But, on a more positive note, if she and Levi were to pretend to be a married couple….hm, this did have some appeal.

She smiled, her eyes glinting with the possibility of what this could mean for her. She looked at Levi with a cocky grin. "Well then, Levi darling, if you want me to accept your proposal, then you will have to get me a better ring."

He blinked and looked down at the ring in his hands. "What's wrong with this one?" he demanded.

"It's obviously a cheap one that's made of glass and a thin piece of silver," she sniffed. "I refuse to wear that for my wedding. Now, are we going to go shopping for a ring or what?" She held up a hand to hurriedly stop him from protesting. "No need to answer! I already know what you are going to say. My ring size is a five. Now let us go find a good hunk of gold!"

* * *

Hanji had to admit that she was surprised that Levi had agreed to come, and with less grumbling than usual. But he did appear to be brooding as they walked through the stalls. Levi had stayed silent as Hanji examined the various jewelry pieces, only speaking up to remind her that she needed to 'stay within budget.'

Hmph. Figures.

"So," she started, fingering a blue necklace before letting her eyes roam over the display case. "We are to find this Emilie girl and rescue her from her lover who is a thug?"

Levi nodded, his gaze flickering over the gritty glass in the stall. Hanji smirked when she noticed Levi's hand twitch as he resisted the urge to wipe the dirty surface clean. She wondered how long it would take for him to clean it down, or to leave.

"We're not buying here," Levi said abruptly, answering her silent question. "This place is a dump, and who knows how bad their rings are here." Ignoring the sputtering salesman he had just offended, Levi dragged Hanji away. "Just pick something so we can go," he grumbled.

"Really Levi," Hanji said. "I wouldn't be too concerned if to the jewelry was dirty. After all, with your cleanliness, the diamond would be a shining hunk in two minutes." She stopped to examine a bracelet in a different stall. While Hanji never really fancied jewelry (the Titans could choke from it. The horror) she did like to look every once in a while. It was a guilty pleasure that she enjoyed.

"And how exactly are we to find this girl?" Hanji asked as she looked at the assortments in front of her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Levi fingering one of the blue scarfs on display.

"We wait for her lover to show up at some art festival," Levi started, examining the rack of scarfs. "The little particulars that Erwin gave me were rather simple. The girl will leave us a sign near her lover's favorite art statue."

Hanji frowned. "And how did this information come across?"

"It was in the letter that she sent her father," Levi explained. "It was in code, and quite easy to decipher." He huffed. "They were able to find the signs all over the town square, which is where we will conveniently be staying."

Hanji nodded, frowning thoughtfully. In reality, she found this mission to be a bit boring as it was. There was nothing unique about it: a rich girl runs off with her lover and finds out that she misses her pampered life. So she sends a letter to her dear old dad who recruits the dear old Survey Corps who in turn assagins dear old Levi to be her partner.

Hanji stroked her cheek. "These signs all over the town square are of a jackdaw, right?" she asked. At Levi's look, she grinned. "I looked at the file Commander Erwin sent me. I did my homework." She actually skimmed it, as she had been in the process of uncovering more glorious secrets of the Titans. To think that she'd be deprived of her wonderful experiments for a whole week...she'd go crazy!

Hanji sighed in disappointment at the thought as she examined the display case in front of her. Her eyes widened as her gaze caught sight of a small, gold object. Placed in a velvet cushion, the gold ring was small and simple with a bright shine t it. Just how Hanji liked it. "Oh!" I want that one!" she exclaimed.

Levi strode over to where she was pointing, and frowned. "That one? But it's a man's pinky ring!"

"And it's made of pure gold!" she said. "Perfect!" She folded her hands as she beamed. "Buy that for me, dear."

Levi glanced at her, as if hoping she wasn't serious. But as he took in her expression, he sighed. "Four-Eyes," he started, straining to keep his voice even. "I am not buying you a ring that you will only wear for a week. It's a waste!"

Hanji folded her arms and tapped her foot.

Levi glared at her. "No."

Hanji cocked her head.

"Just buy the woman something," the vender grumbled, watching the silent stand-off between the not so happy couple. Levi shot a glare at the vendor, silencing him with his icy look. He glanced once more at Hanji before pointing at the ring. "Give me that one," Levi grumbled to the vendor.

The whole entire time Levi was paying for the ring, he was glaring at Hanji. She could barely contain her smirk, knowing what was going through his head at the moment. Finally, with the ring in his hand, he held it out to her. "Here."

She hummed. "I am a traditional girl, so you have to do it right."

He blinked. "Do it right?"

She nodded, pointing to the ground. "Come on, be a gentleman." She reached into her pocket. "Here, I'll even put a handkerchief down on the ground so you don't muddy up your pants." With that, she dropped the handkerchief, watching as it fluttered to the ground in between them.

"C'mon!" the vender shouted at Levi. "Get on your knees!" At that point, a small crowd was gathering towards them, looking at the captain encouragingly. "Treat the little lady right!" the man said, leaning out of his stall eagerly.

Hanji snorted in amusement. "Wow Levi, you sure do know how to bring in a crowd."

Levi huffed, looking anywhere but her before slowly getting down on his knees. "Hanji Zoe," he said through gritted teeth. "Will you…" he grimaced, as if he tasted something bitter. His expression almost looked pained, and Hanji felt mildly offended. Was the thought of marrying her really that bad?

"Will you do me the honors of becoming my wife?" he finally asked.

In that moment, everyone turned to look at Hanji expectantly. She smirked. "Well, since you put it that way," she held out her hand. "Of course."

* * *

The door to Erwin's office slammed open, and the commander had barely looked up before Hanji whirled in.

"Commander Erwin!" she announced, standing before him. "I am engaged." She flashed the ring on her finger towards him, declaring the information with a flare that only Hanji could pull off.

Erwin raised an eyebrow as he glanced at the ring. Wow, Levi moved fast. "Congratulations," he said simply. With nothing more to say, Erwin went back to filling out his notes.

Hanji sputtered, appalled at his apparent lack of interest. "To a man!" she exclaimed.

"I should hope so."

She huffed, placing her hands on her hips as she glared at him. "At least show some interest!" she said.

Erwin sighed before placing his pen down and looking up at her. "Who's the lucky man?" Erwin asked, though his lips twitched in amusement.

"Who do you think?" she asked. "He threatened to break my, and I quote, 'bird beak nose' if I refused his proposal."

He nodded. "Ah, so it was Levi," he said simply.

"At least pretend to be concerned!" she said, sitting on the edge of his desk and continuing her intense glare.

Finally, Erwin looked up, placing a confused look on his face. "What? I think it is a great match and that you two will be very happy in the next few weeks." He frowned, a disturbing thought occurring to him. "Levi did tell you the reason behind the engagement, did he?"

Because if he didn't, then the Survey Corps would find themselves with one less captain in their ranks.

Hanji huffed, bored already as she fiddled with one of the pens on the desk, obviously more interested in the pen then the commander. "Yeah, he did. Something about tracking down this high born girl who ran off with her lover. A jackdaw bird will be her way of messaging us her location. Her dad is paying us a lot of money, right?" She glanced at Erwin. "Why didn't you tell me about this engagement thing first?"

"Honestly? It was much more entertaining to do it this way," Erwin confessed with a smile. He then frowned. "That's not the ring I gave to Levi," he said. At Hanji's mischievous glance, he huffed. "The ring I gave to Levi to give to you."

Hanji started preening, staring at her ring with a smile. "This one suits me," she said. "It doesn't have that cumbersome diamond that will get in the way of my work."

Erwin frowned while also making a mental note on that information.

Hanji smirked. "And besides, I don't like wearing rings that come from men who are not my husband." She leaped from the desk. "Oh well, I guess I should be off. Time to start packing and get ready for my honeymoon." She winked at Erwin as she left his office.

Erwin frowned. He could already feel a headache coming on, as if preparing for what was to come. A bad feeling settled in the pit of his stomach, and he wondered if pairing Levi and Hanji up for a covert mission was the best idea. If so, what was his backup plan when everything went south?

As he was contemplating these disturbing thoughts, the sound of evenly paced footsteps caught his attention. He looked up just in time as his office door was slammed open with a loud 'bang.'

"She refused me!" Levi exclaimed as the door to Erwin's office slammed open once more.

Erwin was starting to see a dent form in the wall from where the door was repeatedly slamming into it. He'd have to get that fixed, or keep his office door open from now on. Maybe he should purchase a few curtains in place of the door.

He raised a thick eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Twice!" Levi exclaimed.

"Was that when you threatened to break her bird nose?" Erwin asked with an amused smirk.

"After she demanded that I buy her a decent ring," Levi growled. He tossed Erwin the ring he had previously been given. "You keep it. She refused to wear any 'cheap glass rings' for her wedding."

Erwin caught the ring in mid air, mildly offended that his ring had been declared 'cheap.' "How thoughtful of you," he said, pocketing the ring. He paid good money for that thing anyway. Maybe he could get a discount.

"Not even married and she's already emptying my wallets," Levi grumbled, pacing around like a caged animal.

"It's only for a week," Erwin reminded him. He cleared his throat. "I have already taken the liberty of sending you some formal attire for the two of you to wear. I have booked the two of you under the name of Mr. and Mrs. Buckswith."

Levi's head snapped up to glare at Erwin. "Buckswith?" he echoed.

"Would you have prefered the name, Buttan?" Erwin asked simply as he flipped through the papers in a relaxed manner. He blinked when the papers were snatched away from him by an incensed Levi. The captain scanned the papers with narrowed eyes, hands clutching the paper.

"You will both be spending your honeymoon at an elaborate inn called the 'Shoe n' Shine'," Erwin continued casually. "Your rooms are conveniently right across from where we suspect Emilie to be staying." Now to lay down some ground rules. Erwin leaned forward. "Do try to keep this mission professional between the two of you."

Levi glanced at him. "I do not mix business with pleasure."

Erwin blinked. "I didn't suggest that you did."

A small smirk flashed across Levi's face. "But you were thinking it." He dropped the papers back on the desk in a neat manner. "Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on Four-Eyes."

As Levi left, the trepidation inside Erwin grew. Indeed, it had been a bad idea to pair Levi and Hanji up for this mission. But there was no back-up plan now, and Erwin did like his fail safes for everything he did. But throw Levi and Hanji into the mix, and all his plans would be a moot point.

No sooner had that thought crossed his mind then did his office door slam open once more.

"Don't you know how to knock?" he asked in exasperation, snapping his gaze up at his newest visitor.

"Apologies, commander!" Moblit shouted as he came in. "But did you know that Hanji is engaged to the captain?"

* * *

 **A/N: What's that down there? A little review box!**


	3. Chapter 3

Ivan Vonbarth was a simple, practical man who enjoyed caring for his inn. It was his pride and joy, right next to his three sons. That isn't to say that he didn't come across a few strange people in his day. He and his wife Karen had seen their fair share of odd folk that would come and stay for the night. But Ivan prided himself for being practical and giving his customers the space they needed when they came to his inn. _The Shoe n' Shine_ was known for its amazing rum that rivaled the one next door. The scenery at his inn also helped add to the pleasant visit that his customers came for.

So it was on this particular late night that Ivan felt his curiosity become aroused at the hushed voices outside his inn door. It had been a rather slow night for them, businesswise, as everyone had yet to arrive for the art festival. So at the sound of a carriage pulling up, Ivan had perked up almost immediately and struggled out of his seat. His seats were certainly tighter then they had been two weeks ago, but his wife's cooking was worth it. On the other side of the bar table, his wife also straightened up and fixed up her black, curly hair. At least she had hair, unlike her husband.

However, his small smile disappeared at the sound of the harsh whispers just outside the door. Whoever was behind there was not exactly being inconspicuous in keeping their voices down. It was not that hard to hear the argument going on between the two individuals outside.

"I am not carrying you over the threshold!"

"And why not?" another, female, voice demanded. "It's a tradition for newlyweds! Now, be a proper husband and carry me!"

"Carry yourself," the first voice grumbled.

"Are you willing to throw away the beautiful tradition of holy matrimony because you are too weak to carry your own wife over a tiny crack?"

"I am willing to save my dignity and avoid the embarrassment of attracting further attention."

"At least pretend like you care!"

"..."

Ivan leaned forward as he heard the male on the other side of the door sigh. "Fine. But I'm not carrying you bridal style."

"Then how are you going to...Oh no! Put me down! That's how you carry a corpse or a wounded soldier! It's not right!"

"It's how I am carrying you. Now no pinching."

"It's indecent! Never mind, I don't want to be carried by you."

"Good. Now can we please go inside-"

Ivan frowned when the man's sentence was cut off. His befuddlement only grew when he heard muffled swearing and thrashing. Someone was obviously struggling, and Ivan was almost too afraid to see what was going on.

The door to his inn suddenly slammed open, and Ivan blinked as he beheld a woman standing on the threshold with an incensed looking man in her arms. "Wow Levi," the woman grunted as she strode in. "What have you been eating?"

"Put me down," the man, Levi, growled, squirming in the woman's grasp. However, his arms were wound tightly around her neck, as if he didn't want to be dropped unceremoniously. It almost looked like he was strangling her.

The woman shrugged, setting the man down on his feet. She smirked at him, her eyes mischievous behind her glasses. "There, tradition done with, hubby dear."

Levi glared at her. "I'll express my gratitude to you tonight, my wife."

Ivan's face flared up, and he glanced at his own wife hurriedly. Well, they were two new customers, and he would treat them as such. He cleared his throat and stroked his thick, black mustache, catching their attention. "Good evening, and welcome to the-"

"Hello there my good innkeeper sir!" the woman beamed, literally bouncing over to his desk. "A reservation for our room has already been established, neh?"

Ivan blinked at the woman's sudden close proximity as she leaned over the registration desk. "Uh, yes, it should be. Name?"

The woman blinked, glancing at her male partner who just shrugged. "Um, I think it would be under….Hanji Button?"

The man she had arrived with smacked his forehead. "Idiot," he mumbled. "It's Buckswith." He glanced at Ivan's confused face. "Not your maiden name," he further clarified, his eyes shifting a bit.

Hanji blinked. "Oh, silly me. I'm new to this whole 'marriage' thing. It'll take me a while to get used to it, you know what I mean?" Here, she winked and nudged Ivan knownigly.

No, Ivan did not know what she meant. When he and Karen had first married, they had adjusted pretty well. But instead of expressing his inner thoughts, he just nodded along as he flipped through the documents. Be polite, he told himself. Don't offend the odd customer.

"Are you two here on your honeymoon?" Karen asked as he looked the papers in his hands.

Hanji propped her elbow on the table, smirking. "Sure we are." She shot Levi a smirk. "Right, dear?"

Ivan chanced a look at Levi and was surprised to see a look of indifference come across the other man's face.

Levi shrugged. "I guess. I just want to get this over with."

Ivan shot a glance at his wife, but Karen did not look at all surprised. Instead, she merely smiled. "Oh, then might I suggest a few landmarks to visit during your stay?"

"Is one of them the art festival?" Levi asked, glancing at Karen with mild interest.

Karen beamed. "Oh! The art festival is always my favorite! If I may say," here, Karen walked from behind the bar and propped her right leg up. She tapped on her leg, emanating a hollow sound. "I go there to get a paint job on my prostatic every year."

Levi actually looked interested as he eyed Ivan's wife's fake leg. "Impressive," he noted. He glanced at her. "Is it ivory?" he asked.

She smirked, tapping her leg. "Of course."

"I can see that you polish it while taking great care to not damage the details," Levi noted, gesturing toward the many rose designs that Karen had painted all over her white prosthetic. A look of what could only be described as admiration came across Levi's face.

Ivan cleared his throat, desperate to get the younger man to stop ogling his wife's leg. "You are in a room numbered 13." He pushed the paper towards Levi, ignoring Hanji's outstretched hand.

To his relief, Levi looked at him and away from Karen. "Room thirteen with two beds, right?" Levi asked as he signed the paper.

Ivan blinked in confusion. "Two...beds?" he echoed. He glanced between Hanji and Levi. "But...isn't it your honeymoon?"

Levi's eyes were still focused on the paper in front of him, so Ivan did not witness the flash of annoyance that crossed his face. "Oh...yes," Levi answered slowly. He looked at Ivan with a smile that seemed somewhat forced. It almost looked as if a smile ever rarely crossed his face. "Our honeymoon," Levi repeated. He cleared his throat. "With a king size bed?"

Ivan shook his head. "No, we only have queen sizes."

"Though there's plenty of room for your honeymoon," Karen said with a wink at the couple.

Hanji beamed. "Perfect! We could use the extra space."

"And extra pillows," Levi added.

Ivan nodded. "I'll have them sent up to your rooms." He held out the keys to Hanji who gladly took them. "I'll also send someone to bring up your luggage."

Hanji nodded, still smiling. "Thank you!" She hooked arms with Levi, dragging him towards the simple, dark stairs. "Come along darling. Let's go get settled in."

"I'm not carrying you up the stairs," Levi grumbled.

Ivan could hear Hanji's teasing cackle as they went upstairs. "Then I'll carry you!"

Their voices faded, and Ivan could not hear Levi's snappy response. Marking off that Mr. and Mrs. Buckswith had arrived for their reservation, Ivan placed the papers back in a secure drawer. Turning, he smirked at his wife. "Do you have to show everyone your prosthetic leg?"

Karen shrugged. "Come on dear, do give me a bit of fun. Life is slow as it is." She frowned. "Room 13, right?" she asked.

Iven looked up, confused. "Pardon?"

"The newlyweds are staying in room 13, right?" she clarified.

Ivan nodded slowly. "Yes."

She hummed, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Well, isn't room 13 directly above our own room with very thin floors?"

* * *

"This window will offer us the perfect spot to spy on the other inn that Emilie might be staying at: _the Storks Flight_ ," Hanji noted, pulling the curtains back as she gazed at the area outside. "What is it with this girl and her birds?" she muttered. But she shrugged. "The location is perfect though," she said.

Levi nodded as he inspected the bedroom with great care. The room was a comfortable size with a large closet for storage. The bed was tucked away in a corner with another window overlooking the plaza below. Levi noted with pleasure that the sheets on the bed were clean. The rug beneath his feet was void of offending dirt, and the bedside table did not have a speck of dust on its cherry wood.

He had to give Erwin credit for picking a clean room. However…

"He couldn't get us two beds?" he muttered.

"If we had two beds," Hanji started. "It would arouse suspicion." She closed the curtains before turning to face him. "We are supposed to be newlyweds, and besides," she smirked. "It's not like you and I haven't slept together before."

Levi rolled his eyes. "With a sleeping blanket between us and with other scouts around us on the ground." He snorted. "I did the same with Erwin once. Mike to." He glanced at her. "And it's not like I haven't slept with someone for body heat before."

Hanji leaned in coyly. "Oh? What was her name?"

Levi thunked her head. "Get your head out of the gutter. Sometimes, the only thing you can do to stay warm was to seek out someone else." An image of Isabel snuggled up to his side flashed to mind. They had all nearly froze to death that one night, even with three people sharing the bed and blankets.

But he saw no need to explain that to Hanji.

Hanji seemed to understand that he didn't want to elaborate, so she merely ruffled through the files Erwin had given them. "Well," she started. "That inn right across from us has a jackdaw sign right on its door," she started.

Levi nodded. "I saw that too. Kind of obvious though. Do you really think Emilie would be hiding out there?"

Hanji shrugged. "It's the only building with a fresh jackdaw sign on it, unless we want to check out the entire town first and foremost."

Levi pulled out his bag and placed it on the table. "Then I suppose we will have to do that tonight." He smirked at Hanji. "The honeymoon will have to wait."

Hanji waved a dismissive hand. "Eh, sneaking out to find a thug is much more romantic." She frowned when she noticed Levi pulling out various assortments of gadgets. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"The festival is tomorrow," Levi started. "And we need to look our best." Here, he shot Hanji a look. "Or presentable." He pulled out a small packet, opening it to reveal two pairs of cutting shears. "You look like you just crawled out of a hole."

Hanji scowled. "So what? I'll just take a bath and wash the grim off. You don't look any better!"

Levi pulled out the scissors. "You can take a bath after I am done with you."

Hanji eyed the scissors in his hand, taking a slow and wary step back. "Come any closer with those," she warned. "And I'll bury them in your spleen."

Levi took a casual step towards her, twirling the scissors in his hands. "I'd like to see you try." With that, he lunged towards Hanji. Hanji scrambled back, trying to duck out of the way, but Levi was faster, and his entire body weight slammed into her and forcing her against the wall. Hanji grunted as she struggled, pushing at Levi. She scrambled away, only for Levi to grab her shoulders, forcing her back to press up against his. Hanji lashed out, kicking at his feet, but Levi pressed her up against the wall once more.

"You have split ends on your hair!" Levi grunted as he brought the scissors closer.

Hanji adjusted her face so that it was no longer pressed up against the wall. "I don't care! This is spousal abuse!"

"Let me get rid of that rats nest you call hair!" Levi growled, struggling once more.

"Never!" With that, Hanji threw her head back and smacking right into Levi. The captain let out a pained yelp, but he did not loosen his grip. Hanji kicked back with her feet, feeling his grip loosen then. However, when she surged forward, Levi grabbed onto her once more. In that moment, both officers lost their balance. Hanji yelped as she felt her feet lose contact with the floor. Her entire body crashed into Levi, causing the captain to grunt in pain as they both crashed to the floor.

"Four-Eyes!" Levi shouted as he lost his grip on the scissors.

"You are not touching my hair!" Hanji promised. However, despite the fact that he was on the floor with Hanji on top of him did not deter Levi from pinning Hanji against him. With swift movements, his legs were wrapped around her waist. "You're not going anywhere until you concede," he growled.

"Then we'll be here for a while," Hanji gasped as Levi held her in a choke hold. "Really Levi, don't you think this is overkill?"

"For me, never," Levi said. He would have said more, but a knock on their door caused them both to look up as the door opened to reveal a Shoe n' Shine employee. The young man gasped as he took in the scene in front of him.

"What?" Levi snapped. He moved his head to glare at the man, blinking as strands of Hanji's hair fell in his face.

"I'm...I'm so sorry!" the man stuttered. "B-but I'm here to deliver your luggage."

Levi nodded towards the bed. "Set them there at the foot of the bed." He tightened his hold as Hanji once more tried to escape. "And do you mind? We're kind of in the middle of something."

The poor man nearly tripped over himself as he scurried around them to try and set the large brown box down. "Of course! I'm so sorry! I'll be going now!" With that, he all but fled from the room.

"And send up some pillows!" Levi hollered after him, right as the door slammed shut.

Hanji hummed. "You know," she started. "I'm starting to feel comfortable."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Comfortable enough for me to cut your hair?"

She snorted. "Not yet. First you forcefully bath me, now you want to cut my hair."

Levi groaned. "It's only a trim, Four-Eyes. If you haven's noticed, you're not really good at maintaining your appearance. It's not like I'm going to leave you bald!"

"Oh, yeah, very convincing Levi!" Hanji scoffed. "What, do you have a degree in hairdressing?"

"For your information," Levi started, indignant. "I cut my own hair."

"Is that supposed to be a good thing?" She paused. "You know, you're not really good at this whole 'partner' thing, eh?"

"Will you shut up and let me do your hair?" Levi grumbled.

Hanji went limp, and just when Levi was wondering how far he could go to reach for those scissors, he heard Hanji sigh. "If you give me an undercut, I swear…" she muttered.

"Relax," Levi huffed. "You know what they say; eventually spouses will start to look like each other."

* * *

Ivan mentally kicked himself for forgetting to order those extra pillows for room 13. He must be getting old in his age. At least, that's what his wife was teasing him about. So, to make up for it, Ivan decided to deliver the extra pillows himself.

He raised his fist to knock on the door, but halted at the sound of voices coming from inside. He scolded himself. There were people in there, of course there would be voices!

"You know Levi," he heard the woman, Hanji, if he was remembering correctly, say. "You were right. I'm not really good at this. It just feels weird."

"That's fine," he heard the man, Levi say. "I can lead you through this. I've done it plenty of times. It's just a matter of experience, and I've had plenty."

Hanji's tone was teasing. "I'll promise not to bite."

To Ivan's surprise, he heard Levi chuckle. "You know, now that we are alone, we can finally get down to business."

"I know what you mean," Hanji confessed. "It hasn't been easy. Being alone does have its perks."

"Let's be quick about it. I've waited long enough."

The sound of something moving around caused Ivan's face to flame up, and he hastily dropped the pillows in front of the door before scurrying back down the stairs. He didn't even bother to knock on the apparently very thin door.

Newlyweds, he reminded himself. They were newlyweds. What did he expect?

* * *

Levi pushed the trunk away from the bed, ignoring the loud sound it was making against the floor. At the small table on the other side of the bed, Hanji was studying the map with a small frown. She pushed her now neatly trimmed brown hair behind her ear, and Levi felt a feeling of triumph swell inside of him. Just as promised, he had not given her an undercut. He was the only one who could rock those anyway.

"If we want to scout out the inn across from us," Hanji started, sitting back. "We will have to go in through the back to avoid detection."

Levi nodded, walking around the bed to glance once more at the map. He had already familiarized himself with the towns layout, but it never hurt to look at the map once more. "The cover of night would be to our benefit," he said.

Hanji nodded in agreement. "We'll have to cancel the dinner reservation if we want to get ready."

Levi shrugged on his new black coat that Erwin had personally bought for him. The trunk was filled with new clothes for both him and Hanji. Levi smirked, knowing what Hanji's reaction would be to the dresses Erwin had tailored for her. "I'll have them bring up an early dinner. Newlyweds do it all the time."

Hanji glanced up at him with a frown. "And where are you going?" she asked as she watched him.

Levi took a hold of the black cane with a silver crow head, tapping it against the floor. Erwin had, for some reason, insisted that he use the thing to get into character. While Levi had initially balked at the idea of using the cane, he had to admit that it came in handy with the hidden sword built into it.

Here they were on a mission to earn money, and Erwin was wasting it on neat gadgets. But Levi wasn't complaining.

"I'm scouting," Levi answered her simply.

Hanji beamed. "Oh! Let me come!"

"You stink and need a bath," Levi said. He pointed his cane at the small bathroom. "Clean up."

Hanji huffed, already opening the trunk. "I'll bath later," she said. Her voice trailed off as she took in her outfits. "Commander," he heard her growl, her tone of voice promising revenge in the future.

Levi chuckled as he opened the door to their room. "You should see the pink dress he picked out for you. I'll be across the street." With that, he stepped out of the room…

...and nearly tripped over a pile of pillows outside the door.

Stumbling, Levi glared at the offending mass of white pillows, and kicked them inside the room. "The service here is really lacking," he muttered, closing the door and cutting off Hanji's annoyed sputterings as she cursed their commander's sense of style.

Striding down the stairs, he made his way towards the desk. He grimaced as his knee flared up with pain. His thoughts once more went back to the fight between him and the Female Titan. Of all the injuries he had to sustain, it had to be a dislocated knee.

The inn was already crowding up with more guests seeking rooms for the festivals. Levi made his way through the crowd to Ivan's desk. He rang the bell on the desk to catch the stout man's attention.

"I would like to have our meals sent upstairs to our room early," Levi said, startling the innkeeper. He frowned when Ivan's face turned a light shade of red as he refused to meet Levi's gaze.

"Of course," Ivan said. He finally glanced at Levi. "I was...not expecting you to be down here so quickly," he confessed.

Levi shrugged. "I only really needed five minutes. That's all a man really needs." He huffed, tugging on his new black coat. "Now Hanji, however, likes to take her time. All women do when it comes to that. They like to take it all in." Despite the fact that she didn't put much effort in her appearance, Hanji did like to examine her new toys, even if they were clothes.

Though Ivan's head was down, his ears were a bright red. He made a choked noise, something that Levi ignored. He pulled up a stool, sitting down for a minute to help ease the pressure on his knee. Wincing, he rubbed his leg, feeling some of the tension finally leave.

Ivan looked up. "You alright, sir?"

"A little sore," Levi admitted, rubbing his knee.

"You don't need to tell me," Ivan said hurriedly. "I completely understand."

A flicker of surprise crossed Levi's face. He hadn't expected Ivan to relate to any sort of battle injuries. But he nodded anyway. "Yeah, moments like this can be a true pain," Levi grunted. "But a man has to push past it and take pleasure in what is coming." He snorted, tapping his cane against the floor. "Though there's no true pleasure that I've experienced yet. All I've been met with is disappointment so far."

Ivan sputtered, face red. "But...sir! She's your wife!"

Levi frowned. "My...wife?" he echoed. He was obviously referring to Hanji. But what did Hanji have to do with any of this? He shook his head. He was wasting time with this pointless chatter anyway. He nodded to Ivan, whose face was still red as he rose up from the stool. "Good day," he said, leaving the inn.

He took in a deep breath before as the fresh air wafted over him. Eyeing the coming and going carriages, Levi strode out onto the street to the get to the other side. Women and men were walking around, children skirted about, and filthy animals ducked in between buildings.

Levi strode toward _the Storks Flight_ and casually strolled around the building. He frowned when he caught sight of the small painting of a jackdaw bird. It was not just one, but dozens of carefully crafted paintings.

"Odd that an inn with a stork would have the paintings of a jackdaw," he muttered. He stopped when he caught sight of the back door, the drawing of a jackdaw inscribed in it, along with hastily written words.

His coat pocket tugged slightly, and on instinct, Levi lashed out. His hand shot outward to grab at the small hand that was halfway into his pocket. His grip on the would-be-thief tightened, and his glare intensified as he stared down at the individual.

The failed pickpocket let out a startled gasp, stumbling back and losing her footing. The girl looked at him with wide, green eyes. The look of shock and fear showed clearly on her face, but there was a flicker of defiance in her eyes as she stared at him.

Levi was instantly reminded of another feisty, green eyed girl who once touched his life. But she had been a better thief then this child. With that thought, his grip loosened ever so slightly, and the girl scurried away. Levi watched her go, and instead of the brown hair, he saw a flicker of red. A name that he had tried to bury surfaced, along with the memories that he had tried to forget.

"Sorry it took me so long," a voice said, and Levi turned to see Hanji hurry towards him. There was a skip in her step as she eagerly approached him. "It took me a while to find a decent outfit that I could actually run in."

Levi eyed her up and down, noting that the long sleeved white shirt fit her quite nice. Her yellow skirts swayed at her ankles to expose her new brown boots. She adjusted her glasses as she smirked. "Ready to scope out the place?" Hanji asked.

"Already found something," Levi answered, pointing to the door. What stood out to Levi was the small inscription beneath the painting, not the drawing itself.

 _"Birds aren't meant to be caged,"_ Hanji read out loud. _"They spread their wings and fly free."_

Levi frowned. "What the heck does that mean?"

"It's a poem," Hanji explained. "There's more to the original poem, but I think it's a hidden message."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "So Emilie is a poet now?" He huffed. "If she's talking about being a free bird, then she's a free bird flying back to a gilded cage."

"Hey, not our problem," Hanji answered. She frowned, leaning forward as if the door would reveal more secrets. "I wonder why she even bothered with this poem."

"Guess we'll find out when we sneak out tonight," he answered.

She smiled. "Well, this honeymoon just got a whole lot interesting."

* * *

 **A/N: Ah, the little review box that is so empty and waiting for reviews that are much appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4

Ivan crawled into bed tiredly, grunting as he adjusted the soft white sheets. He was normally up late enough as it was, but the day before the festival always left him tired and worn out. Just as predicted, the inn had been flooded with customers and visitors all seeking a room for the big day.

He was just glad that none of them had been newlyweds.

Karen shot him a sympathetic look as she pulled the small pins out of her dark hair. "Today was tough," she said, shaking her hair loose and sending her dark curls tumbling down her shoulder.

He grunted. "Yeah it was," he muttered. He fell into the bed, his head landing on the pillow. He frowned before turning over once more to watch as his wife unhooked her fake leg as she settled into bed. "Have I ever told you that I appreciate you?"

Karen blinked, startled. "Yes," she started. She cocked her head, eyes curious. "What brought this on?"

"What makes you think that anything brought it on?" he asked.

"You had to be thinking of something to say that," she started. She then smirked. "Uh oh. You're blushing. What happened?"

He huffed. "I don't blush," he muttered. He glanced up at the ceiling, frowning. "You remember the newlyweds who registered in?" he asked. "The ones who seemed interested in your leg," he clarified when he saw her confused face.

She smirked. "I think his name was Levi, the only one who seemed interested. What happened? You didn't punch him, your own customer, for showing interest in a work of art?"

He huffed. "No." He could feel his face flame up. "I...I might have caught them in a...in a moment."

She frowned. "A moment?"

"An intimate moment," he clarified. "One normally reserved for newlyweds."

Her eyes widened. "You walked in…"

"I didn't walk in!" he protested quickly, sitting up in his bed as he rubbed his face. "But I certainly heard something! Jonathan wasn't so lucky. Poor lad walked in on them with their luggage and nearly fell down the stairs in his haste to get out." He huffed. "Those two have no restraint."

She shrugged. "Well, can you blame them? They are newly married."

He paused. "Yeah, I guess." But his frown deepened. "That Levi person though seems a bit...harsh towards his wife. No, maybe harsh isn't the right word." He sighed, falling back into the pillows. "He seemed a bit careless in his talk about his...moments with his wife. I mean, do I even want to hear how disappointing the experience was for him?"

"Well, obviously not with the way you're carrying on about it," Karen said as she laid down right next to him.

"He just made some interesting comments," he grumbled, wrapping his arm around his wife and pulling her closer. "He's an odd man."

"Oh hush," Karen said as she yawned. "It is their wedding night anyway. They're having the time of their lives at the moment."

* * *

"Best wedding night ever!" Hanji whispered.

"Keep it down and it might end sooner than you think," Levi said, quietly stepping out into the hallways. He glanced around mildly before striding down the halls. If someone saw the two of them leaving, it was no big deal. Plenty of people left for late night excursions. But Levi would have liked to avoid as many people as possible.

Levi and Hanji both made their way downstairs. The shadows of the candle light cast an eerie glow around them, but the dark never scared Hanji. In fact, something else had occupied the small space of fear.

No, it was not filled up with the Titans.

It was the fear that her partner, her 'husband,' was incapable of performing the mission for tonight.

She glanced at him worriedly once more, noticing how Levi was leaning on that cane that Erwin had specifically made for him. Her mild concern grew when she saw how his hand clenched just as he breathed in sharply when he put pressure on his bad knee when going down the stairs.

Hanji knew that it would be a bad idea to suggest that Levi stay behind. First off, he would refuse, and he was more than capable of overpowering her if she tried to make him stay. Her new haircut was proof enough of that. But she also might need the backup that Levi had to offer.

So instead, she stayed silent as they left the inn and crossed the streets. The street lights gave off a good show of the cobblestone roads. Hanji glanced around, noting that a few late night carriages pulled by. The light sprinkle of the rain made the air cooler, and already puddles of dirty water were gathering on the road. Hanji pulled her hood up to shelter herself from the rain, as did Levi.

"Alright," Levi said suddenly. "What's up?"

She looked at him. "What?"

"You are uncharacteristically silent," Levi said. "What's going on in that abnormal brain of yours?"

Hanji smirked. "I thought that you wanted the silence."

"With you," Levi said. "It's creepy."

"Just admit that you like the sound of my voice," she said as she crept up to the back of _the Storks Flight_. She would have made it further had Levi not suddenly pushed her back with a swift motion. Hanji held back her surprised yelp when she saw Levi's narrowed gaze as he looked down the alley.

"Guards," he muttered, releasing her. Hanji chanced a peek around the corner, spotting two large men standing watch over the back door.

"What does _the Storks Flight_ need guards for?" she asked.

Levi pulled his hood up, frowning. "Maybe they are looking for Emilie," he muttered. "If so, then we have a problem."

Hanji grabbed his shoulder, nodding upward. "Hey, was that jackdaw painting there before?" She pointed to the window right above the back door. It was the only window with a small candlelight coming from the inside. Levi followed her gaze and frowned once more when he noticed the new painting of the jackdaw. The light rain had already damaged some of parts of the wet painting. But the warped bird was certainly a jackdaw. "It looks new," she said.

"Because it is," Levi said, glancing back at the two men who had yet to move from the back door. "Emilie might be in there. If we can nab her, then this mission might be done by tonight."

Hanji crossed her arms, considering her options. "Alright then," she said. "One of us will have to distract those two men while the other sneaks through the window."

"I can get up there without my ODM gear," Levi said. "I can slip into the window easily."

"Not with a damaged knee," Hanji pointed out. She frowned. "If we had our gear, we could have easy access to the roof and slip over those men."

"I can deal with them," Levi said, and she saw the glint of his knife in his hand.

"You could," Hanji admitted, stroking her chin thoughtfully. "But not without drawing unwanted attention to ourselves. We'd need to get in closer."

Levi frowned. "You have a better idea?"

Hanji smirked. "In fact, I do. But you might not like it."

* * *

Janix shifted around as he felt his sore feet go numb. He wished he had brought a cloak to shelter himself from the rain. Or a wide brimmed hat would have sufficed just as well. He glanced upwards at the only upstairs room that had a light on. Though it was not much of a light, the candle did flicker daintily in the dark.

"Boss should be done," Rupert commented.

Janix nodded. "Great. Now we can get out of this dump. I'm starting to go numb standing here."

"We've only been here for ten minutes," Rupert pointed out.

"Still," Janix grumbled. "How long does it take to shoot someone in the head? It's click, click, boom!"

"Keep your voice down!" Rubert hissed suddenly.

"What?" Janix demanded hotly. "I'm just saying-" He was cut off by a loud noise coming from up in the distance. His hand automatically went to his gun as two figures staggered forward in the distance. He slowly relaxed, but did not remove his hand from his weapon as he surveyed the two figures. Both were staggering with one stumbling to the ground before being picked back up by their partner. Judging from the height and stature of the two, they were obviously male and female.

"Just a drunk couple," Rubert nodded, his stature relaxing ever so slightly. The boredom of their task seeped in once more

Janix huffed. "Wonderful. That should be me over there, enjoying my booze with a pretty lady on my arm."

Rupert glanced back at the couple, now disinterested. His eyes widened however, when the screaming in that same direction began. One figure was suddenly thrashing about, screaming while the other pushed them up against the wall none too gently. The individual in distress continued to thrash about in an effort to escape.

"Hey!" Rupert shouted, stepping forward to assist.

"Leave them alone," Janix said. "It's just a lover's spat." But before that last sentence was out of his mouth, Rupert was already rushing forward, shouting out warnings. "Hey!" Janix shouted. "Don't leave your post!" With a growl of annoyance, he chased after his partner. At least he was moving now and no longer staying still in the rain.

"Leave her alone!" Rupert shouted loudly. Janix resisted rolling his eyes. If the entire town wasn't aware of their work, they were now with the way Rupert was yelling. But the enraged shouts did startle the hooded attacker who happened to glance up before dropping the victim and running off. The hooded woman let out a pained groan, falling to the ground and huddling into a defensive position.

"Yeah, that's right!" Janix shouted at the retreating assailant. "You better run!"

"Miss," Rupert started, approaching the huddled form cautiously. "It's alright. He's gone now."

Janix snorted. "Yeah, you're a real hero there man. Scared the creep off so you could save the little lady. Was that your plan?"

"Shut up," Rupert muttered. Crouching down, he placed a hand on the shivering woman's shoulder. "Miss," he said once more. "You're safe now."

* * *

Levi was going to kill Hanji. That four-eyed abnormal woman who was supposed to be his wife was dead to him. Even now, he was coming up with the most painful and excruciating ways for her to die, and no, he would not give her the pleasure of being eaten by one of her precious Titans.

His back was already sore from where she had slammed him into the wall. Sure, they had to make the attack look convincing, but did she have to be that rough?

Even now as he forced his body to tremble to display the appearance of someone in distress, he was scowling beneath his hood as one of the men reached out to touch his shoulder. Oh yeah, and the man's other hand just so happened to drift down his back a little lower, right?

Hanji was dead for putting him in this position.

"Miss," one of the men said. "Get up."

"What's the matter with you? You so shaken up that you can barely stand?" another voice snapped. "Pathetic," he muttered. Then, to his companion, he said, "Hey, give her a little pinch in the bum to jostle her out of her shocked state."

If they pinched him, Levi was going to break every single finger on their hand.

Strong arms griped Levi's shoulders, and he allowed himself to rise up to his feet with the help of his 'rescuers.' Keeping his head low, he finally raised his gaze upward to stare at the two men.

"Wait!" one of the men shouted. "You're not a girl-!" His response was cut off as Levi kicked him in the knees, sending him crumbling to the ground. The other, shorter guard rushed at him, but Levi lashed out with his cane, the small blade sliding out silently. He cut at the man's thigh before bashing the fallen guard's head into the ground. Without a backward glance, he throttled the other crumbled guard with the dull side of the cane. In less than two minutes, both guards were sprawled out on the ground, unconscious.

"And the award for the most obvious statement of the day goes to," here, Levi kicked the unconscious body of the soldier. "This guy." Sheathing the small blade back into the hidden crevice of his cane, Levi sauntered over to the back of the Storks Flight. Glancing upward, he noted how the window was slightly open with the candlelight now out. Nodding to himself, he leaned up against the wall and waited for Hanji to finish her rounds.

Then he would kill her.

* * *

Hanji was sure that Levi was already planning her immediate death. But hey, it was a good plan that she had come up with. There was no way that Levi would have been able to scale the walls and climb through the window with his bad knee. So sending her to break into the room was the only logical choice. But they still needed someone to distract the guards.

That was when the entire 'assault Levi' plan came to fruition.

She reasoned that Levi's small stature could get him mistaken for a hooded woman. As long as he didn't speak and he maintained that helpless form that he was perfecting, then the plan would work. She chanced a look behind her as she entered the window with the jackdaw bird sign and smirked when she saw the two guards hovering over the small figure they wrongly assumed to be a helpless woman.

Levi was not helpless. Even without a weapon, he could handle himself. Her smirk turned into a frown as she wondered what kind of a death Levi was plotting for her at that moment.

Shrugging, she slipped into the room, leaving the window open a crack. There was nothing to be done about the small puddle of water that she was leaving in her wake. But at least an open window would explain some of the water's presence.

The window was not even locked, which had been surprising to her. Creeping forward cautiously, she glanced around the small space. A gust of wind blew by, blowing out the candle and dashing away what little light remained. However, Hanji could still see the small stack of papers on the desk.

Approaching the desk, she touched the papers and glanced at them. She reached for the candle and lit a match, earning her some more light. Studying the papers before her, she frowned at the designs of the many art booths. The ones in particular always had something to do with birds. She inwardly scoffed. What was it with this noble girl's fascination with birds?

A small voice in her head that sounded distinctly like Levi's was wondering the same thing about her and Titans.

The sudden sound of large footsteps caused her to look up sharply. Blowing the candle out, she ducked behind the desk hurriedly. Hanji stayed silent as the door creaked open once more and the heavy footsteps approached her spot.

"-brat ain't here," the large man grumbled. Listening intently, Hanji leaned forward in the hopes of earning some information sort of information. But whoever had entered the room remained silent, aside from grunting. She went still as he approached her spot, his hulking form just a few feet away from her hiding spot. She heard the shift of the man's weight as he leaned over the desk, messing up the papers in the process.

Hanji leaped up and grabbed the man's outstretched hand in a firm hold. Delivering a swift kick to his abdomen, the man fell forward with Hanji twisting his arm onto his back. The man's muffled yelps were cut off when his face was smashed into the carpet.

"Where is Emilie Zachies?" Hanji demanded, twisting his arm as she pinned the man beneath her. This fight would be lost to her if she could not maintain this position. While Hanji was faster and had more experience in battle, this man had the large body weight on his side and could flip her over easily should her grip loosen.

She twisted harder at the man's protest. "Where is she?"

"I don't know about Emilie!" the man sputtered quickly as the painful pressure on his arm grew. "I'm just here for Jaque!"

Hanji frowned. "Jaque? Jaque Bosh?" What did Emilie's lover have to do with this?

"The dirty rat owes me money!" the man growled. "We heard that he and that girl were staying here, but they skipped out!"

Oh. Well, that explains it. But another disturbing thought occurred to Hanji. "We?" she echoed.

The man she was holding captive began to laugh, and that was all Hanji's warning as something moved in her left field vision. Releasing him, Hanji ducked out of the way as a large fist flew past her. Rolling out of the way before leaping to her feet, Hanji lashed out with a quick kick to the man's ankle. Hanji did not give him time to recover as he hit the ground. Instead, she leaped at him with her fist curled, delivering a swift punch to his temple and knocking him out.

She turned to face the third adversary, crouching low and aiming for his midsection. The blond man grunted as the air was knocked out of him. Falling back, his head connected with the desk, and he fell to the ground in a crumpled heap.

"Now then," Hanji said, turning to glare at her former captive. "Where were we-?" She blinked when she saw the man leap towards the window, crashing through it and shattering the glass in his attempts to escape.

Hanji could only stare at the shattered glass as the rain began to seep into the room. The man hit the ground down below, and Hanji winced. "Oops." At least the trip down would be faster than the trip up.

* * *

Levi happened to look up as the window above him shattered as something large and dark flew through it. Levi raised one unimpressed eyebrow as the man landed unceremoniously in a heap on the muddy ground. Glancing back up at the broken window, Levi calmly strode over to the groaning man.

"You know," Levi said, catching the man's attention. "In my experience, you only break a window when you need to escape. That creates a mess, a mess that someone needs to clean up." He delivered a swift kick to the man's stomach, knocking the wind out of him. "You are in the perfect position to be taught a lesson."

"There's…" the man wheezed as he struggled for breath, rolling on the ground as he clutched his stomach. "There's...another one of you?" He glared at Levi, only to blink in shock as he took in the sword from the cane that Levi wielded in front of him.

"Normally, I don't need weapons to make a sharp point," Levi said, tipping the edge of the sword at the man's chest. "But this will help speed things along." He narrowed his eyes. "Now where is Emilie?"

"I don't know anything about the girl!" the man exclaimed. "I'm only here for Jaque! He owes me money!"

"Everyone owes someone something," Levi muttered. He sighed. "Very well. Then where can I find Jaque?"

The man spat. "How should I know? I've been wondering the same thing for the past five days. It took everything we had to track him down to this inn, and it was only because of that darn bird!"

"The jackdaw on the door," Levi muttered. He glanced to the right just as Hanji made her way towards him. "Very well," Levi said simply, turning back to look at the man. "Thank you for your cooperation." With that, he delivered a swift kick to the man's head, knocking him out. With one last pained grunt, the man fell to the ground in a heap.

Levi winced as his leg flared up with pain. Hissing, he bent over and began rubbing his knee in an attempt to sooth the pain. Taking in deep breathes, he regarded Hanji and tried to straighten up despite his protesting knee. "What did you find?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Just a few of Jacque's old friends," she answered simply. "They're a really nice bunch. Jaque runs with an interesting crowd." She pulled out a slip of paper from her cloak, which had kept the documents safe from the rain so far. "Apparently, he and Emilie flew the cope so to speak. But they did stay here for a while."

"Who's to say that one of Jaque's old buddies didn't get to them first as they left?" Levi asked.

"Then they wouldn't be hunting for him," Hanji answered. "They'd have gotten what they came for."

Despite the fact that he didn't like the logic behind that reasoning, Levi had to agree with Hanji. He of all people knew how criminals worked and what they did to those who owed them. Levi scoffed as his hopes of this becoming a quick mission were dashed. "Great," he muttered. "Now they could be anywhere."

"Not necessarily," Hanji said quickly. "You know how we keep seeing the jackdaw drawings where Emilie is supposed to be?" She approached him and closed the small space between them. Huddling next to him, she showed him one of the papers she had snatched. "This is only a portion of the festivals events," she explained. "But it all has to do with birds."

Levi narrowed his eyes. "You're saying that Emilie could be at any of these boothes advertising bird paintings?" He glanced up at Hanji and reached out to pull her glasses off of her face. She blinked as he withdrew a small handkerchief and began cleaning the lenses. "They were filthy," he muttered.

She smirked when he placed the glasses back on her face. "My neatfreak hubby," she cooed, nudging him playfully.

"Abnormal wife," he muttered. He gestured back to the papers. "Emilie could be in any of these booths, hiding out with a small jackdaw picture to give her position away."

Hanji shrugged. "It seems likely." She stuffed the papers back into the safety of her cloak. "Looks like we might be attending that festival after all tomorrow."

* * *

 **A/N: Look at the cute, empty review box!**


	5. Chapter 5

Ivan was not sure what woke him up. Maybe it was the light pitter patter of the rain outside. Maybe it was a bad dream that he could not remember. Perhaps it was his wife's snoring.

Or maybe it was the sudden, loud commotion coming from right above his room.

From room 13.

With a muffled groan, he buried his head in his pillow, hoping to drown out the embarrassing noises.

* * *

Levi resisted the urge to groan in pain as he pulled himself up the stairs. But the sight of the last step before him did cause him to hurry up with the promise of a blissful reprieve. With one last grimace, he ascended the last step. It was tempting for him to lean up against the wall, but he refused to display such a weakness in front of anyone, even Hanji.

Thankfully, Hanji did not say anything at all. Instead, she seemed intent with feverently reading the notes she had stolen from _the Storks Flight_. After their brief encounter with Jaque's old buddies, there was no point in staying out in the rain any longer. That, and Levi had suggested that they head back. He did not bother to explain that his knee was acting up again, protesting at being put through so much work.

He let out a sigh of relief when he saw their room. Another flare of pain exploded from his knee as he entered the room. Hanji made a beeline for the small table, setting down the papers and pulling up the chair and sitting down. Levi shrugged off his coat and folded it on the small table.

"I'm going to shower," Levi said. Hanji barely nodded in his direction, pouring over the notes relentlessly. He frowned, wondering why those simple lists were so important to her. But he barely gave it a second thought as he grabbed his night clothes and strode into the bathroom.

He was pleased to see that there was a shower. The bathroom was spacious with a small stand for him to set his clothes down without spoiling them. He quickly changed out of his wet and dirty clothes before stepping into the shower. He never allowed himself to enjoy his showers, and this trip was no exception. He was in and out in three minutes, already drying himself.

Fully dried and dressed, Levi entered the bedroom once more. Unsurprisingly, Hanji was still looking over the notes. Walking over, he glanced over her shoulder to see what she was so interested in. He frowned when he noticed that it was in fact, not the notes from the inn, but Hanji's own personal notes on the Titans.

Figures.

He huffed. "All right," Levi said, nudging her shoulder. "Go get a shower. You stink."

Hanji grunted, not even looking up from her obsessive reading. "In a minute."

Levi snatched the papers away from her. "No. Go get cleaned up right now." At her indignant protests, he glared at her. "Do you need me to drag you towards the bathroom and forcefully bath you?"

Hanji smirked, unfazed. "Not like you haven't done it before-Hey!" she yelped as he picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder. "Levi!" she exclaimed, gripping the back of his shirt to stabilize herself.

"Tch," he grumbled as he strode towards the bath. "My shirt is clean. Don't dirty it up with your filthy hands. And no pinching."

"I can bath myself," she grumbled. She failed her feet about, causing Levi to pause for just a moment. "No need for word to get back to the commander about this intimacy," she huffed.

Levi smirked as he set her down on her feet. With another huff, Hanji cast a forlorn look at her notes before scurrying into the bathroom. Levi cast a look around the bedroom before snatching up the notes on the desk. He strode over to the mattress before carefully laying them underneath the matressing. Straightening up, he nodded, satisfied.

Levi was in the process of creating a wall of pillows. He surveyed the bed with a satisfied nod, fluffing up his side of the bed. He made sure that there was an equal amount of space in each side for both him and Hanji. He would have preferred to sleep in a chair, but there was conveniently no such chair, and he was not going to sleep on the floor. Who knows what's on it!

It was not that he and Hanji had never slept together. There were a few times when they needed to bunk down for the freezing nights. But their sleeping bags had been a barrier of itself between them. Not to mention there was presence of the other soldiers and the watchful eyes of their commander.

Levi was just checking over the supplies Erwin had sent with them when the bathroom door burst open to reveal Hanji in her grey shirt and sleeping shorts. She ran past him, eager to look over her Titan notes once more. However, Levi leaped in front of her, halting the scientist in her tracks.

Hanji's eyes widened at his intervention. "I bathed!" she exclaimed, miffed.

"That remains to be seen," Levi started, frowning as he observed her. "Did you dip your toe in the water and declare yourself clean?"

Hanji huffed, flipping her wet hair. "No. It's called a three minute military shower. You do it all the time!" She sidestepped him and went back to the table, only to let out a horrified gasp. "Levi!" she all but shrieked, pointing an accusing finger at him. "Where are my notes?"

Levi did not even bother to try and look innocent. "You will burn the midnight oil with your obsession," he said, reaching for a towel. "We need to rest so as to be at our best for tomorrow at the festival."

"Please tell me you didn't burn them!" she pleaded, almost flying at him with her quick speed. Her wide eyes stared at him, hopeful and almost tearful. "You kept them safe, right?"

Levi scoffed. "Of course I did. I just won't tell you where I hid them." He unrolled the towel. "Now stand still."

The wariness was back in her expression. She took a step back, staring him down defensively. "What are you doing?"

"Your wet hair will ruin the bed," Levi said. "Now don't struggle." With that, Levi pounced on her. Hanji shrieked when Levi landed on top of her, pinning her to the ground. With the towel, he swaddled her hair, drying at the wet strands.

"Levi!" Hanji gasped as she struggled beneath the towel. "I...can't...I cant breath!"

"Just a few more seconds," Levi said as he adjusted the towel. He kept his legs pinned at her sides, keeping her in place. The breath was suddenly knocked out of him when Hanji kneed him in the gut. With that single movement, Hanji wrapped her legs around his waist and sent him to the ground. Levi grunted when he found Hanji sitting on his back. Though he could not see it, he was sure she had a triumphant smirk on her face. She whacked the towel, and he could hear the glee in her voice as she addressed him.

* * *

Ivan buried his head further into the pillows when he heard the voices from above. "My turn, darling," the woman cooed.

"We'll see about that," came the dark voice. There was shuffling, and Ivan could hear the woman's startled yelp.

"Gah! Levi! I'm ticklish there! You promised not to do thaaaat! Gah! Curse you short midget!" The rest of her sentence was cut off with breathless laughter, and Ivan groaned once more as he tried to catch some sleep.

* * *

With their hair dried and the candle light low, they finally managed to go to sleep. The wrestling between them had barely lasted five minutes. Levi had eventually won and successfully dried Hanji's hair. With one last whine from Hanji about her missing Titan notes, they finally settled into bed.

"Levi," Hanji said softly as she tossed and turned in the bed. Though there was a wall of pillows between them, Hanji was able to see Levi's head turn slightly towards her. "I have one question for you-"

"No."

Hanji blinked. "But you didn't even hear what I was going to say!"

"'Where are my Titan notes'?" Levi quoted. "I am not telling you such valuable information. Now go to sleep." With that, Levi blew out the last candle, plunging the room into darkness. "No cuddling from you either," Levi grunted as he rested his head on the pillow.

Contrary to what Levi said, there was indeed cuddling. And it was not Hanji who initiated it.

Hanji did not know how late it was, but she could tell that it was indeed late when she was disturbed from her sleep. Her eyes flew open as she felt something wrap around her waist and pull her close. Gathering her bearings, Hanji was just able to make out Levi's peaceful face as he buried his head on her shoulder.

Hanji huffed. "Very funny Levi. No cuddling." She tried to wiggle out of his grasp, to no avail. True to his title, Levi was certainly Humanity's Strongest. What happened to the wall of pillows that Levi had set up between them? Did he burrow through them?

One glance at the ruined pillows showed that, yes, yes he did.

Hanji growled as she tried to scoot away. However, that only served for Levi to tighten his grip around Hanji's waist. A soft sigh escaped his mouth, and his head shifted to rest on the crook of her neck.

"This is ridiculous," Hanji grumbled. However, she glanced back down at Levi who was sleeping peacefully, holding her close like an oversized teddy bear. With one final sigh, Hanji rested her head down on the pillow, trying to give Levi as much space as she was allowed.

"I'm going to kill you."

Hanji's eyes flew open at that breathy threat. She stared at Levi as he mumbled in his sleep. His hold around her tightened as he continued to grumble in his sleep.

Perfect. So he was a sleep talker as well. Why not? She could only imagine what Levi was dreaming about now. She just hoped he didn't strangle her in his sleep.

It took Hanji only a short time to realize that Levi was a blanket hog. How someone could be a cuddler and a blanket hog was beyond her. But Hanji was not amused. She knew wearing her shorts had been a bad idea. Now her legs were freezing, an the t-shirt she wore was not helping matters.

Levi, on the other hand, looked snug as a bug.

Cocooned in the blankets while still keeping a firm hold on Hanji, Levi slept on.

Well, good for him! Meanwhile, she was freezing her tushie off as someone stole her side of the bed, and all her pillows!

She hoped Levi would mourn for her when he woke up to find her as a frozen stick.

Hanji scooted over once more, sliding out of the bed and stomping over to the small nightstand. Fumbling for her glasses, she slipped them onto her face. Making her way towards the closet, she strode in that direction in the hopes that there would be an extra blanket for her.

Opening the closet, she simply glared into the empty space, as if cursing the small closet for her misfortune. This was an inn! Weren't they supposed to be stocked with supplies for their customers? Grumbling, she stalked back to the bed with the intent of shoving Levi aside and wrestling with him for the blankets.

She stopped at the foot of the bed, blinking as she took in the sight of Levi sprawled all over the bed. There was not a single space for her to slip into. The captain's chest rose and fell as he slumbered on, unaware of his glowering partner.

Hanji gripped the blankets, giving one, mighty tug. "Move!"

* * *

The loud thud and cursing drew Ivan's tired expression upwards. With one last, embarrassed whimper, he buried himself underneath his blankets. "Don't these people ever stop?"

* * *

"You did not have to wake me in such a rough manner!" Levi grumbled. "And stay on your side of the bed!"

"Take your own advice," Hanji grumbled as she settled down. In reality, she hadn't figured that Levi would tumble out of the bed when she had attacked him for the blankets. But at least she got the blanket back! Laying down, she stuck her cold foot through the pillow wall and up Levi's pant leg. Levi yelped before turning sharply to glare at her. Hanji smirked, only for a pillow to smack in her face.

"It's on Shorty!" she cackled, grabbing a pillow and aiming it at Levi. He ducked out of the way before hurling another pillow at Hanji. Momentarily blinded from the fluffy fabric, Hanji did not see Levi until he tackle dher to the ground and off of the bed. Breathless and nearly laughing, Hanji grinned up at Levi. Though he was not smiling, his mouth was twitching with amusement.

"Did you have to land on me?" she groaned.

"It's a soft landing," he said simply. Now, he smirked. "I think we are disturbing our hosts."

She frowned up at him. "Why?" When he gestured to the floor, Hanji turned her head so that her ear was pressed up against the floor. Her eyes widened briefly. She had not realized how thin the flooring was until now: She could faintly hear the innkeeper grumbling in annoyance.

Hanji flashed a smirk at Levi. "Oops," she said simply.

Levi huffed in mild amusement before rising up. "Maybe we should catch some sleep so that our dear innkeeper can get some rest himself."

That had sounded like a good plan, and Hanji forgot for a brief moment about the cuddling experience. She let out a sigh of content as she rested her head on the fluffed up pillows. But strangely yet, she did not feel tired. Her aderlien was pumping while her mind raced. She glanced over at the new wall of pillows Levi had placed between them. They were squeezed together, unlike the last one that Levi had burrowed through. Now Hanji was satisfied with the fluffy fortress.

She must have dozed off eventually, because she was unaware of the movement at her side until she felt the mattress dip. Something slid around her waist, and Hanji cracked open one eye to silently glare at Levi who was now cuddled up right next to her side. With a grumble, Hanji stuck her cold foot up into Levi's ankle. This earned her a sleepy kick into her side. Hanji yelped, finally turning over to glare at Levi's sleeping face.

She raised a hand, ready to shake him awake, when she caught sight of a single tear trailing down Levi's cheek.

Hanji blinked, unsure of what she was seeing. Was Levi...crying?

With a sigh, Hanji rested her hand on Levi's head, gently stroking his head. She did not know what was afflicting Levi, but she knew that the Survey Corps had more than their fair share of nightmares and demons. She was no exception, and neither was Humanity's Strongest.

"You little softie," she muttered, resting her chin on his head as she closed her eyes.

Her thoughts of compassion were soon shattered when the morning came.

* * *

"What the heck Four-Eyes?"

Hanji blearly blinked her eyes open. "Wha-?" she asked tiredly, yawning. "What?" she asked now, her blurry gaze coming into focus. Levi's tired glare met her own gaze stared back at her.

Her first thoughts were one of many questions. Why was Levi sleeping with her? Why was he glaring at her? And what was that glorious breakfast smell coming from downstairs?

Levi slipped out of the bed, still glaring at her. "I said no cuddling."

Hanji yawned once more, stretching before turning over on her side. "Speak for yourself. You cuddled with me!"

Levi snorted. "As if. And did you just drool all over my pillow?"

Hanji blinked in confusion before she sat upright in the bed. "No! You cried all over your own pillow! And I don't drool!" The very thought was offensive to her!

"So I guess that explains your fingers tangled in my hair as well?" Levi countered back. He was already unbuttoning his sleep shirt, slipping it off and folding it.

"As a matter of fact," Hanji scowled. "Yes. I was 'comforting' you while you were sticking your cold foot into my side!" She scrambled out of the bed and strode towards him, hands on her hips. He placed his neatly folded shirt on the trunk before turning to face her, folding his arms over his bare chest. "I don't see why you're such a grouch about it!" she exclaimed, poking him.

"I'm not a cuddler," Levi stated. He turned away from her as he opened up their trunk of clothes.

She snorted. "Uh huh," she said. "Well, last night proved otherwise." She spun on her heel, making her way towards the bathroom. "By the way," she called over her shoulder. "Who were you trying to kill last night?"

Levi blinked. "What are you talking about?" he demanded, staring at her as if she wasn't already abnormal enough.

Hanji waved a dismissive hand as she vanished into the bathroom. "Oh, nothing. Never mind."

Levi could only stare in confusion. He chalked it up to one of the weird antics of Four-Eyes. That being said, it was not worth dwelling on.

He selected a simple shirt and pants. He smirked in mild amusement as he took in the tailored outfits that Erwin had made for him. It was certainly his style; simple and easily fitted.

He gathered his clothes right when the bathroom door opened to reveal a drowsy Hanji. It seemed that after she was done taking care of her personal business, she was ready to crash. She stumbled towards the bed before collapsing in it. She rolled over, pulling the blankets close.

"Get dressed," Levi said simply as he made his way towards the bathroom. "We'll be leaving soon for the festival."

"But Levi!" Hanji whined, rolling around in the bed. "It's our honeymoon! We're supposed to sleep in!"

"And there are plenty of sights to see on this honeymoon," he stopped and glanced over his shoulder. "My dear wife." With that, he closed the bathroom door. He briefly wondered if he was going to emerge later and witness Hanji in the same position on the bed. He would not be surprised.

He was proven wrong when Hanji was sorting through the dresses in the trunk that Erwin had ordered for her. Scowling, she glared at the assortment of outfits before her. "Is this all he packed for me?" she demanded.

"The commander does have an interesting sense of style," Levi stated as he began making the bed.

Hanji's scowl deepened as she held up the pink dress. "This is not my color! And how am I going to fit my waist into this? It's so tiny!"

"With a corset," Levi answered simply as he fluffed up the pillows. He delicately placed them back on the bed, straightening out any wrinkles that could be found under his critical eye.

Hanji's eyes widened as the horror set in. "A what?" At Levi's glance, she dropped the dress as if it had burned her. "No," she declared. "I'll wear something else!"

"All the dresses require corsets," Levi answered. "Commander Erwin made sure of it."

"Then I'll wear pants!" she said, stuffing her head into the trunk as she rummaged around in the hopes of finding something suitable.

"The only pants you have are the dirty ones you arrived in," Levi said.

"Then I'll wear those!" Hanji said, straightening up. It seemed that no matter what, she was determined not to wear the dresses with the corset.

"They are muddy and wet," Levi interjected. He smirked. "And I sent them down to the wash. This inn does have an amazing wash racks."

Hanji's eyes further widened in horror. "You did what?!" she shrieked. She launched at him desperately. "Levi! How could you throw away my only hope of escape? Have you ever even worn a corset?"

"Have you?" he argued back.

"Nope," came her answer. "But I've heard stories! Horrible stories! And it's filled me with nightmares that will haunt me to my grave!" She pulled back thoughtfully. "You know what? I'll wear your clothes."

"What?"

"Yeah, husbands and wives do it all the time, right?" She paused at the look he sent her. Deflating slightly at her foiled plan, she sighed as she sank to the ground. "You're right, I won't be able to fit into your petite clothes anyway. I'll need to wear a corset with your tiny shirts."

"Stop exaggerating and get dressed," Levi grumbled, slightly miffed at the jab. "It's not that bad."

Hanji huffed. "Fine," she said forlornly, crawling back to the trunk. "I just want to warn you that women have died wearing corsets before."

"No, they have not," Levi said. "But knowing you and your antics, you'll be the first."

Hanji was grumbling under her breath about the commander and his fashion taste, along with terrible captains who made even worse husbands. Throughout all of that, she continued to glare at Levi until she disappeared in the bathroom. Levi continued inspecting the bed, fixing the sheets and straightening up the space. He could hear Hanji rummaging around in the bathroom before she emerged.

The first thing that Levi saw was that the dress was indeed pink. The skirts were suitable for a noble lady's stroll in the city. It was very form fitting with quarter sleeves and a simple bodice. However, none of that would have been noticed, as it became pretty clear what Hanji was wearing underneath. She seemed oblivious to the fact that her bra was clearly seen on her chest.

Levi blinked. "Is that a sports-bra?" he asked. Even as he asked, he could tell immediately that it indeed was a sports-bra. The black fabric was covering up most of everything, and the dress clashed with the undergarment and made it look like Hanji had jumped into the closet and jumped back out with whatever had stuck to her.

Hanji glanced down at her chest. "Yeah. Why?"

"You are not wearing that!" Levi exclaimed. "You look ridiculous!"

"Well, it's the only bra I have!" Hanji retorted.

"Good thing Erwin had the foresight to send you with other necessities," Levi said, pulling out a bag from the trunk and tossing it to Hanji. She blinked as she opened the bag and took in its contents. Her eyes widened as she stared back at Levi. She raised an eyebrow. "How does he know my size?"

Levi shrugged. "He knows everything. Now put it on."

Hanji dropped the bag, folding her arms. "No. Those bras are uncomfortable."

"And with that bra," Levi interjected, gesturing towards her. "It is displayed for all to see. I refuse to be seen in public with you in such a state." He advanced towards her, picking the bag up and pulling out one of the bras. Holding it by the strap, he held it out to her. "Put it on."

Hanji's eyes narrowed. "Make me," she challenged.

Levi's eyes also narrowed. It was then that Hanji realized her mistake. Levi never accepted a challenge unless he was certain he would win. But, hey, Hanji never backpedaled from her mistakes. Her smirk grew at Levi's answer.

"Challenge accepted," Levi answered.

She just never expected Levi to pull the rug up from under her feet, sending her to the ground. She was up and rolling in seconds, but her legs got tangled up in her stupid dress that the commander had made especially for her. It was that very thought that caused Hanji to scream his name in rage.

"Erwin!" she yelled in rage as Levi towered over her.

"The commander is not here to hear your pleas," Levi answered. "Now don't make me straddle you again. It's getting old."

"Then you have a problem," Hanji growled. She brought up her knees, trying to knee him in the gut once more. But Levi had grown to expect that move and calmly placed his boot on her stomach.

"Are you going to act like the grown woman you seem to be and put this on yourself?" he demanded, holding the bra in front of her. "Or are you going to be a child and force me to drag you to the bathroom?"

Hanji's narrowed glare was answer enough. Levi sighed before grabbing her arms and dragging her away. "No! Levi!" Hanji shouted, struggling. "You don't understand! I don't want to! First it's the bra, then it'll be the corset!"

"It's for your own good!" Levi growled, struggling to drag her away.

"What good?" she demanded. She gripped the side of the bathroom door, trying in vain to stop moving forward towards her imminent doom. "This is spousal abuse!"

"You will be flashing your underwear for everyone to see!" Levi shouted back. "It's indecent and will reflect badly on your husband, which happens to be me!"

"So what?" she shouted. She yelped when Levi threw her back into the bathroom. Hanji sat up to glare at him, only for Levi to flign the bra in her face. The door slammed shut with Levi leaning against it to prevent her from getting out. He wouldn't put it past her for her to try and break down the door.

"If you concede," he said. "I'll give you your Titan notes."

Hanji fell silent for a moment. "With a new pen?" she asked hopefully.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, with a new pen."

"Okay!" came the happy response. Levi sighed and rested his head against the door. He could hear Hanji shuffling around as she struggled out of the dress. He could hear her frustrated grunts, and he could only wonder at what she was struggling with now. Deciding that Hanji was not going to try and escape, Levi strode towards the bed and withdrew her notes. He placed them down on the table before reaching into his black coat pocket and withdrawing a pen. There, it was new.

"Hey, Levi," he heard Hanji say. "I kind of forgot how to put on a bra like this. It's been a while. Can you help me clip the back?"

Levi's eyes widened. Was she asking him…? Oh, she was!

"How should I know?" he exclaimed. "You're the woman!"

"Oh, never mind!" came her response. "I figured it out!"

Levi rolled his eyes. "Good for you."

Within moments, Hanji emerged from the bathroom. Levi nodded in approval as he eyed her up and down. No longer was her sports bra obvious to anyone else, though it was certainly obvious to him that she was uncomfortable with the way she was tugging at her chest, making it move up and down.

Levi lashed out, grabbing her hands. "Stop that!" he hissed, pulling her close.

She blinked at their sudden close proximity. "Stop what?"

"Doing...that!" he exclaimed, gesturing to her chest. "It's distracting!"

Hanji smirked at him. "Well then," she purred. "You know what's even more distracting?" With that, she turned around to expose the back of her dress. "I couldn't button up the back. The strings also need to be tied as well."

Levi huffed before stepping forward to button up the back of her dress. "Those are the strings for your corset," he answered, clipping the last button in place before reaching for the strings.

Hanji jolted forward, startled. "The what-?"

"Hold still," Levi interrupted, and that was all the warning Hanji received before he tugged on the strings. Hanji gasped for air as she felt her ribs suddenly constrict. "I...I can't...breath!" she gasped. She couldn't even move! A small thought occurred to her: she wondered if Levi was enjoying this.

"You know," he said thoughtfully, answering her unspoken question. "I think Erwin was hoping to see you in this dress."

* * *

 **A/N: You see that empty white box down there at the end of the story? It's waiting for a review!**


	6. Chapter 6

Hanji resisted grumbling and kept her annoyed comments to a minimum. After all, they did have a mission to perform, and the sooner they got to the inn, the sooner she could get out of the corset. She was in too much agony to fully appreciate the fact that her figure looked great and that she was attracting admiring stares from many man passing by. All she cared about was the way her ribs seemed to be crushing in on themselves and how she could not breath if she so much as broke out into a jog. Why would Commander Erwin subject her to such misery? Did she offend him in any way? Was this his cruel, yet clever way of torturing her?

Well, whatever the reason, she would find out what it was. Maybe she would force the commander to slip into a corset as well. See how he liked that!

Levi also seemed eager to wrap up the mission as well. He kept tugging on the collar of his shirt, his face pinched in a grimace. The black cane he wielded looked more like a club with the way he was holding it.

Hanji chuckled, turning her gaze away from the glowering captain and back to the food stand in front of her. Her mouth watered as she gazed at the assortment of goodies before her. She had not really had the chance to eat as Levi had dragged her away from the inn before she had the chance to try any of the food. She had only managed to snag a small drink from Karen. The woman had looked sympathetic when she had noticed Hanji's grimace.

"You do have a nice figure," Karen had noted when she had hurriedly passed Hanji a drink. "Did you sleep well?"

Hanji had grimaced then, not even truly paying attention to the question. She had seen Levi striding towards her with a determined expression, and she knew what he had in mind. Levi was just as eager to end this as she was, and there would be no time for her to relax and enjoy her beverage. "No," she had confessed. "He kept me up all night. I didn't get a wink of sleep."

She still did not understand why Karen's cheeks had turned a light pink, and she did not want to know why. That had occurred in the morning. It was now almost the afternoon, and Hanji still hadn't eaten!

"I'll take that," Hanji said, pointing to the bowl of warm, delicious smelling food. The man nodded and quickly served her. She eagerly grabbed the bowl while paying the man with the money Erwin had sent them with. Walking over to Levi, she took small bites of her food. She would have devoured what was in front of her, but the corset tightened her waist so much that it was difficult to even nibble on the food.

She might just starve because of the corset.

"I found one booth that has jackdaw paintings," Levi stated when she approached him. "They have drawings, sketches, statues, even stuffed jackdaw birds." He scoffed. "Guy has a weird obsession and could give you a run for your money when it comes to abnormal hobbies."

Hanji rolled her eyes as she chewed her food. "As if. Birds are dumb. Titans are glorious."

"And disgusting," Levi snorted. "And don't talk with your mouth full. It's gross."

Hanji swallowed her food, crumbling the plastic in her hand and looking around for somewhere to throw her garbage away. "So," she said, clearing her throat. "Where is this booth located?"

"Not far from here," Levi stated as he walked down the small road. Hanji did her best to follow after him, her pink skirts swishing about. She huffed, hiking up her skirts and gathering them in her fists.

"Good," she said as she made her way towards him. "Then we can hopefully wrap this up quickly. This corset is pinching my insides."

Levi glanced at her, his eyes widening as he finally took her in. "What are you doing?" he snapped, taking a hasty step back from her, alarmed.

She merely glared at him. "What? What am I doing now? I'm walking!"

"Not like that!" he hissed, pushing her skirts down. "You're exposing your ankles!"

"I expose my ankles all the time!" she protested, stumbling back as both she and Levi grappled for control over her skirts. "And hands off! You're getting handsy!" She hiked up her skirts even higher. At the moment, she did not care that she was exposing her white slip, or the white stockings. She had amazing legs anyway and wasn't ashamed of them.

"Four-Eyes!" Levi growled. They both yelped as they fell backwards with Levi on top of Hanji. With quick, swift movements, Levi pinned her down. "Great," he muttered. "Now your hair's a mess."

Hanji blinked. They were both sprawled on the ground in an unseemly manner and all he cared about was the state her hair was in? He really needed to get his priorities straight. Just as she was about to voice such thoughts, her attention was attracted by Levi's movements as he tried to fix her skirts.

"Normally this type of stuff is reserved for indoors when we are alone," she teased. Levi merely glared, his eyes glinting dangerously. Her eyes widened as Levi leaned in, their faces inches apart. She stared at him, blinking as Levi did not move for several moments.

"Believe me when I say this, Four-Eyes," he murmured. "You do not want to be alone with me."

"Get a room you two!" someone hollered. Hanji's gaze was drawn to the individual who had called out to them, and Levi used her momentary distraction to push her skirts back down. He stood up with a huff, nodding at her in satisfaction. "Try to act like a lady," he huffed.

She held her hand up to him in response. "Try to act like a gentleman," she said. She would have gotten up herself, but the corset was so tight that she could barely sit up. Levi sighed, gripping her hand and pulling her up to her feet. Straightening up, Levi eyed her up and down as she brushed the dirt off of her skirts. She happened to glance at him, wondering if that was a smirk playing on his lips.

"The commander was right," Levi said.

Hanji frowned, curious. "About what?"

"The we would make an interesting pair," Leiv stated.

Hanji grinned. "Well, as odd as this is, there's no one I would rather be faked married to then you."

"At least you know what it'll be like to be married to me," Levi said. However, if there was a smirk on Levi's face, it was long gone as Hanji started adjusting her outfits.

"Would you stop that!" he exclaimed. "Here," he grumbled, striding towards her with determination. In one, swift movement, Levi dipped Hanji back before lifting her up, cradling her in his arms.

Hanji gasped, feeling her chest constrict as she felt the breath in her lungs escape. Her corset pinched even tighter, and she gripped Levi's shoulders for support. She didn't even think he would have been able to carry her with his injured knee. She was once again surprised at his strength. "Put...me...down!" she gasped, trying to draw in deep breathes.

"Hm," Levi said simply as he walked down the street with her in his arms. "It seems that the corset is keeping you quiet. I think I like it."

Hanji's cheeks flared, and she began kicking her legs. "Shorty! Put me down you little midget!"

Levi snorted. "Or what?"

Her eyes narrowed, though a playful thought did come to mind. She gently trailed her finger up his neck, caressing him before tugging at the collar of his shirt. "Or I'll kiss you," she threatened.

Levi stumbled, nearly dropping her in the process. Though it did give Hanji the perfect moment to escape. She scrambled away and out of his arms, adjusting her skirts. "Wow, is the thought of kissing me really that bad to you?" To be honest, she was a bit hurt. Did Levi really find her that repulsive?

She glanced at him, only to see him bending over and rubbing at his injured knee. His head was ducked and hid his face from her view. But she did not need to see his face to know he was in pain.

"You strained yourself," she said, kneeling in front of him. She did notice the dirt she was getting on her dress. She didn't care. "You shouldn't have carried me like that." She whacked his arm lightly, hoping to earn a response from him. "Would you like me to carry you instead?"

That got a reaction from him. Levi looked up, his frown unamused. "Now is not the time to be cracking jokes." His voice was low and strained; a hidden effort to conceal his pain.

"I was being serious," she said honestly. "And who was joking around when they had decided to carry me?"

Levi huffed, rolling his eyes. Grabbing his cane, he straightened up. Hanji stood up, stepping back and giving him some space. She noticed with concern how stiff he appeared to be. Her gaze traveled to look at his injured knee, and she felt a sense of compassion run through her. While Levi had damaged his knee, he had also lost his comrades. That alone was a wound that would forever remain open.

Hanji was pulled from her thoughts at the sound of someone chuckling. Looking back, she noticed a red haired woman in a small booth. Her green eyes were glinting with a hidden mischief, and she eyed Hanji with a smirk.

"He seems like a fun one," she stated.

Hanji snorted, approaching the booth. "You'll have to describe that word to him."

"Well, he did seem concerned with your outfit," the woman said, propping her elbows on the booth and leaning forward.

Hanji sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I honestly did not know how to deal with him at that moment. Which is a new one for me, because it's usually the other way around."

The woman chuckled. "Men like it when women show some skin. But they can't stand it when their own women go about flaunting their assets."

Hanji scoffed. "He needs to loosen up. He's too stiff." However, she had to admit that Levi's stiff personality was what made him who he was. The Levi she was used to.

The woman smirked. Reaching into her pocket, she withdrew a small, clear vial. "I have something that'll get him to loosen up into a total romantic," she said with a husky whisper. Leaning over, she passed the vial to Hanji. "It's a concoction of my own recipe. It's guaranteed to work. Just slip it in his drink, and you will have a totally different man for the next three hours."

Hanji frowned, raising an eyebrow. "Only three hours?" She was not really considering giving Levi a potion without his knowledge, but she was curious how this vial was made. The scientist in her was aroused with an instant yearning to learn.

The woman's smirk grew. "Well, if you give him too much, you'll find yourself with an overbearing husband." She passed the vial to Hanji. "Here, no charge necessary." She nodded upwards, her gaze trailing behind Hanji. Hanji glanced back to see Levi striding towards her, his gaze determined.

She felt the cold vial get pressed into her hand, and she glanced at it with a small frown, wondering what she was even doing with accepting it.

"Hey handsome," the woman said with a sultry smirk at Levi. She eyed Levi up and down with interest, and Hanji barely ressisted snorting in amusement. Yes, that tight shirt he was wearing did show off Levi's strong body.

"I found the bird," Levi said, ignoring the woman as he glanced at his partner. He grabbed Hanji's arm. "Come on."

Hanji allowed him to drag her away until they were a good distance from the booth. She pocketed the vial for safekeeping before turning to look at Levi. "That woman was speaking to you." She scoffed. "Rude little imp. You ignored her!"

Levi glanced at her. "She called me handsome. It was a comment, not an invitation for conversation."

"So you just accepted the compliment without responding back?" Hanji rolled her eyes, a smile playing on her lips. "Don't tell me this is the first time you've been complimented like that." Though, with Levi's demeanor, she wouldn't be surprised.

"I've had many people threaten to cut up my 'pretty' face," Levi said. "My normal response to such statements do not always end well. Somehow, holding a dagger at that woman's throat didn't exactly sound like the proper way to respond."

Hanji would have retorted, but her words were cut off at the sight of the booth filled with stuffed jackdaw birds. "This is it," Levi said as Hanji eyed the booth stuffed with many paintings and statues of birds. "We find Jaque, we find Emilie."

Both Hanji and Levi strode towards the booth, eyeing everything around them warily. Levi leaned against the booth, his eyes searching. "Hey," he called out to the vendor. "You the only one running this booth?"

The tall man finally turned to look at them, squinting his dark eyes. He stroked his long, black beard as he regarded Levi. His facial hair was so thick that Hanji was unsure if he was smiling or scowling. "Yes I am," he said. "What can I do for you?"

"We're looking for someone," Hanji interjected, coming forward. She pulled out the small picture of the blond woman. "Emilie Zachies. Her father sent us to bring her home."

Before the vendor could even open up his mouth to respond, the desk began to rattle with such force. "Emilie!" a different voice squeaked. Both Hanji and Levi blinked as a young man poked his head up from under the desk in the booth. His wide, brown eyes regarded them with hope. "Are you the scouts?"

Levi stared at the man, frowning. "Yes, we are. And who are you?"

"I'm Jaque!" the man exclaimed, jumping up from beneath the desk.

The vendor scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Yesh Jaque. I agreed to hide you, but you ain't exactly hiding if you go about shoutin yer name."

The man, Jaque, ignored the vendor. He dusted himself off before offering his ink stained hands to Levi to shake. "I'm the one you're looking for!"

"You don't look like a rich woman with blond hair," Levi said, ignoring the hand that was offered to him.

"We're here for Emilie," Hanji said.

"Well, Emilie didn't send you the letter, now did she?" Jaque stated, hands on his hips. "At least, she wouldn't write it herself."

Levi blinked once more, frowning. "She didn't?"

"Well, no," Jaque said. "She would have a servant write-"

"I meant she didn't write the letter to her father," Levi growled.

"Oh, Well, technically, she didn't. I wrote that letter in her name and sent it to her father." He scoffed. "The old man can't notice much of a difference in the handwriting anyway. He just read it and took it as a sign of some sort."

Hanji was instantly flooded with confusion. "But why would you send us a letter requesting our help?"

Jaque leaned forward, desperation in his eyes. "Because I need your help to get me out!"

Levi frowned. "Out?" he repeated.

"Out of this relationship!" the man all but shrilled. "I need to get away from Emilie!"

"Keep yer voice down!" the vendor snapped.

Hanji could feel her confusion reach the tipping point, and by glancing at Levi's impatient tapping fingers on the stall, she could tell his was too. She looked back at Jaque with a curious frown. "But...you and Emilie ran away together," she said. "Right?"

"That was before I realized what a shackle marriage was. Especially to a woman like Emilie!"

Levi snorted at the comment, earning him a glare from Hanji. "So…" she started slowly. "Let me get this straight. You said that you reached out to Emilie's father, pretending to be her, in the hopes that we the Scouts would come to rescue you from your mistake of a marriage?"

Jaque nodded. "Yes! I want to focus on my birds now, but I couldn't do that with Emilie around. She expects me to treat her like the nobility she left behind! She can't seem to understand the concept of work. And she sings, man! She sings! Morning, noon, and night! I was about ready to ship her off to the opera!" Jaque seemed to crumble. "I didn't realize marriage would be this much trouble!"

"You do realize that you were in trouble the moment you and Emilie ran off together?" Levi said, unimpressed. He sighed, stepping back. "Oh well. You're not the one we are looking for."

Jaque blinked, clearly startled as Levi and Hanji turned to leave. "W-wait!" he called out. "You said you'd help me!"

"We never said that," Levi stated, not looking back. "We're here for Emilie. No one else."

"B-but I know where she is!" Jaque exclaimed.

Both Hanji and Levi stopped to stare at him. "Really?" Hanji asked, unconvinced. "Why didn't you just say so?"

Jaque wrung his hands, now looking increasingly nervous. "Because I need help. I'm...I'm in some trouble."

"Money trouble?" Levi asked.

Jaque looked up, surprised. "Y-yeah. How'd you know?"

"We ran into some of your pals last night," Levi answered. "You owe them money?" Hanji nearly snorted. If not money, what else could it be?

To no one's surprise, Jaque nodded empathetically. "Yeah. But they can't catch me if I'm out of the city. I have an uncle who can help me if only I can get to him. And who better to help then two Scouts from the Survey Corps?"

"We are not your personal bodyguards," Levi growled. "Emilie's father isn't paying us to keep you safe."

"But he's paying you to get her back, right?" Jaque asked. "Look, I know where she is. You help me get out of this city, and I'll tell you where she is."

Both Levi and Hanji glanced at each other, a silent agreement passing between them. It would take too long to tear up the entire city and find Emilie. But, with Jaque lending them his information, they could wrap this up a lot faster.

Hanji nodded slightly, to where Levi merely sighed. "Alright," Levi said. "We'll have you out of the city before noon."

Jaque beamed. "And you'll have Emilie by the end of the night."

* * *

 **A/N: Ah, the lone, lonely review box.**


	7. Chapter 7

In all honesty, Levi was seriously considering knocking Jaque unconscious. The man was just as bad as Hanji when it came to conversations. Levi had to listen to the different descriptions of birds and how to capture their unique appearance with paper and paint. All Levi never wanted to know about birds was filled in during the small trip to the inn.

If Levi had wanted to become a painter, he wouldn't have joined the Scouts. Sadly, that was not something Jaque seemed to understand.

It only got worse when they arrived at the inn and were locked up in their rooms. The small space seemed to make Jaque's voice increase in volume. Even Hanji seemed agitated with Jaque's constant chatter. With one glance at the man who had plopped himself right on the bed, Hanji strode over to Levi, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she said.

Levi frowned at her, confused. "For what?"

"For subjecting you to my endless prattles," she said. She scowled at Jaque who seemed oblivious to the fact that he was annoying his own rescuers. "I now know what you have had to endure, and the sacrifice you have made at my expense."

Levi scoffed as he opened his bag, ruffling through it. "Birds are officially on the menu from now on," Levi grumbled. "First off: jackdaws."

Hanji frowned, peering over his shoulders. "What are you looking for?"

"For a blunt object," he replied.

Hanji raised an eyebrow, curious. "Okay," she said slowly. "And why would you need a blunt object?"

"So I can knock Jaque out and finally get some silence," he said. "I need my daily dosage of peace and quiet." He glanced at her, noting her bemused expression. "Hey, I know how to effectively knock someone out without killing them." He paused. "I just never saw the use in that before."

Hanji hummed. "As amusing as that would be," she started. "I think I have something else that could work." Levi watched as she pulled a small vile out of her pockets. Hanji strode over, picking up a glass of water. With her back turned to Jaque so that the artist could not see what she was doing, she emptied the contents into the water. Swirling it around, she approached Jaque with an unusually bright smile. "You must be thirsty!" she chirped brightly. "Here, have a glass of water."

Jaque eyed the glass of water she was offering to him, frowning. With an apologetic shrug, he shook his head. "Thanks, but I don't drink water."

Now Hanji's smile was strained. "Oh ho, you will drink this one." She all but shoved the glass in his face as she offered it to him.

"You better do it," Levi spoke up, causing Jaque to face him with wide eyes. "Four-Eyes over there is a firm believer in staying hydrated. She'll give you a thorough lecture about the benefits of pure, clean water and all that useless junk."

Jaque grimaced before turning back to look at Hanji. With a hesitant frown, he accepted the water from her. He nodded his thanks, sitting back casually. Hanji leaned forward, eyeing him eagerly. "Go on," she coaxed. "Drink it."

He blinked, startled. "Oh, you mean now?"

"Stay hydrated," Levi stated.

Jaque looked increasingly uncomfortable as he stared at the glass of water he had been offered. With a grimace, he sipped at the water. When Hanji continued staring at him, he downed the entire glass. With a gasp, he handed the cup back. "There," he said with a strained smile. "Hydrated."

Hanji beamed, accepting the glass. "Thank you!" she chirped, bouncing away. With a careless toss, she got rid of the glass.

"How long until that potion takes effect?" Levi asked as Hanji joined him on the other side of the room. He leaned up against the wall, folding his arms as he casually watched the other man in the room. He rubbed at his knee, taking pressure off of his damaged limb as he rested his cane against the desk.

Hanji shrugged. "Beats me. I've never used this kind of stuff before. The lady who gave it to me wanted me to use it on you. Something about you being a better husband."

Levi stared at her. "She wanted you to...drug me?" he demanded.

Hanji huffed. "I guess, but I knew that you would never drink something like that. Plus, you'd be no fun in a comatose state."

Levi rolled his eyes. "How comforting to know."

It did not take long, as Levi found out, for the drink to kick in. Jaque had fallen silent, aside from the light humming and tapping on the floor. He wore a goofy smile that served to unnerve Levi. But if the man was staying quiet, then Levi had no qualms about the odd, glassy eyed stares he was receiving.

Hanji huffed as she went through her bags. Standing up with her hands on her hips, she strode to Levi. "Darling," she announced. "I need to go to the bathroom."

Levi did not even bother to look up from his own packing. "Okay."

Hanji growled. "I need to go to the bathroom," she repeated. "But I can't go when I am wearing the corset."

Levi finally looked up, eyeing her with a frown. "Oh? And why is that?"

"Because it's squeezing my insides!" she exclaimed. "I can't relax!"

He huffed. "Alright, don't give me the details about what you do on the toilet." He twirled his finger at her. "Turn around."

Hanji smiled triumphantly as she twirled around. Levi loosened the corset before unbuttoning the back of her dress. With a relieved sigh, Hanji gathered a bundle of clothes in her hands and dashed to the bathroom.

Levi went back to placing their belongings back in the trunk. Hopefully, after getting Jaque out of the town, they could find Emilie and be done with this entire ordeal. Then they won't have to come back to the inn and experience anymore of their disgusting coffee.

"Whatcha doin'?" Jaque asked, kicking his feet absentmindedly.

"Packing," Levi said.

"Why?"

"None of your business," Levi snapped. He glared at the man. "And get off of the bed. I just made it. You're getting dirt all over it!" His eye twitched at the very thought of his neatly made bed suddenly becoming a ruined mess.

Jaque giggled, causing Levi to raise an eyebrow at the odd antics. "But I think I like it here. It's so comfy!" Oblivious to Levi's dark glare, he flopped onto the bed. "The yellow sunshine is so pretty," he cooed. "It reminds me of…" here, he began to sniff. "Of Emilie."

"I thought you dumped Emilie," Levi commented. His hands twitched as he took in the rumpled sheets and the once neat fabrics in a disarray. Only a few more hours, he told himself. Only a few more hours of enduring this man's presence.

Here, Jaque sighed. "Yeah, but she wasn't so bad. I mean, man, she was hot. But she was so demanding and wanted to tie me down, prevent me from experiencing my freedom." He let out another mournful sigh. "Have you ever fallen in love? I thought I did...once...long ago. It was great."

Levi was starting to seriously consider killing this man. He could find Emilie himself without the constant jabbering.

"I mean, maybe not fall in love, but love someone. But a guy like you could probably find a decent woman," Jaque continued.

"There have been plenty of decent women in my life," Levi grunted. Plenty, strong, decent women. All had evicted different feelings from him. All had touched his life in a unique way. All had faced the same fate. It had seemed as if death wanted to steal everything that he touched.

He shook his head. Now was not the time to get sentimental. He had a job to do.

"Gah!" Hanji exclaimed, bursting out of the bathroom suddenly and jostling him from his thoughts. "I feel so much better!"

Levi turned and nearly choked at the sight before him. There, Hanji stood, wearing a white shirt and pants that seemed a bit too short on her. "Is that...my shirt?" He demanded. "And my pants?"

Hanji shrugged as she walked by, adjusting the white shirt she was wearing. "Yeah, my own shirt and pants are still missing, so I decided to borrow yours." She sauntered over to the small desk, sitting down casually. The shirt slipped over her shoulder just slightly, exposing her skin. "I have to say, this is much more comfortable. I can breath!"

"Take that off!" Levi ordered.

Hanji stared at him, blinking. "What? No! What would I wear? My underwear?"

"You're not wearing that," Levi stated. "My clothing does not look good on you, and I do not like the idea of anyone other than me wearing my stuff!" That had only happened once, but Isabel had looked adorable in his clothes.

Hanji was...well, she was Hanji. She managed to pull off the look somewhat. But it was still his pants and shirt she was wearing. Yes, married couples, or couples in general, sometimes wore each others clothes, but Hanji was being a bit distracting.

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I'll fetch you your missing trousers if that'll make you happy. But I expect my clothes to be neatly folded." He nodded to her. "Now, strip."

Silence hung in the room. Levi blinked, now aware of what he had just said. Hanji's face turned a slight shade of red.

"In the bathroom," Levi finished as an afterthought.

Hanji scowled at him. "Real smooth, Levi," she said.

Jaque laughed jovally. "Hey, she's got a great figure. If you don't want her, I'll take her!"

"She's my wife," Levi commented absent mindedly, a bit irked.

Jacque's eyes widened. "Woah man! She's your wife!" He whistled. "You sure hit the jackpot, let me tell you. She's hot!"

Hanji hummed appreciatively, her blush fading. "Well, thank you."

Jacque sat up a bit, sluggish in his movements. "You got any kids? 'Cause any kids from you, baby, have got to be gorgeous."

"Alright, that's enough," Levi stated, striding over and whacking Jaque upside the head. To Hanji's mild surprise, Jaque crumbled to the ground, snoring as he lost consciousness.

"How much of that vial did you give him?" Levi demanded, looking at her.

Hanji withdrew the now empty bottle. "The whole thing," she said. "I honestly didn't think it would make him act this way!" She frowned thoughtfully. "It was supposed to make you romantic though. And what he was saying did make my heart flutter." Here, she smirked at Levi. "I think the lady who gave this to me wanted me to seduce you."

Levi merely yanked on her ponytail, causing her to yelp. "None of that," Levi said. "Let's finish this up and find Emilie." He scoffed. "Please, you couldn't seduce me if your life depended on it."

Hanji grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to face her. Her face was mere inches from his, her smirk devious. "Wanna bet?" she asked.

Levi smirked. "I never make bets I know I can't win."

"This'll be the first," she said.

"I doubt it," Levi said. "Plus, we wouldn't want word getting back to the commander."

She huffed, rolling her eyes. "True, true. Besides, I know that the idea of you kissing me already disgusts you."

Levi frowned. "It does not. I just don't like kissing other men's women."

Hanji sputtered, her face slightly red as Levi grinned at her. He leaned in closer, nearly whispering in her ear. "But, I just might do it to rile him up."

Hanji tilted her head, eyes glinting. "Oh, you reckless, little devil," she said.

Jaque's snoring pulled them both away from their standoff. Both pulled back, Hanji smirking and Levi merely glaring at her with well hidden amusement.

It didn't take long for them to finish packing. It barely took five minutes. They had not even brought much with them to begin with. Around that time, much to Levi's utter dismay, Jaque began to awaken.

"Oh, my head man," Jaque grumbled.

"Yeah, yeah," Levi grumbled, grabbing the man's shoulder roughly and dragging him out. "Tell us on the way."

The first two minutes down the stairs was filled with Jaque's grumbling and Levi's sudden dark aura. Hanji may only have been married to Levi for less then three days, but she already knew when and how to detect his foul mood. Years of friendship will do that.

Levi shoved Jaque into a chair, ignoring the artist's protest. "Sit," Levi ordered, pointing firmly. He fixed the man with a glare that none dared to disobey before turning on his heel and stalking over to the front desk.

"We'd like to check out of our rooms," Levi started, sliding his room key over the small, rough desk.

Ivan looked startled for a moment before quickly nodding. "Did you enjoy your stay?" he asked.

Levi shrugged. "Eh, I did what I came to do."

Ivan nodded absentmindedly. "Good, good to know. I bet your wife was...happy."

"Um, sir," Jaque said worriedly.

"I told you to sit," Levi snapped, not looking back at the nervous painter.

"B-but there's an...um...there's a...duck!"

"I don't want to hear anymore about your stupid birds-" Levi's comment was cut off when someone slammed into him, knocking him to the ground right when the sounds of gunshots rang out.

Oh. That kind of duck.

Levi grunted as Hanji pinned him to the ground under the sudden heavy fire. The patrons screams echoed around them as everyone ran for cover. Hanji pressed up against him as he wrapped his arms around her waist before rolling beneath the desk. Still holding Hanji, he crouched down, trying to make out their adversaries.

"Jaque Bosh!" an enraged scream declared. "You owe us money!"

Well, there was his answer.

"These guys again?" Levi muttered. He released Hanji who was crouching at his side. "Where's the stupid artist?" he demanded, looking around.

Hanji nodded in the direction of the far corner of the inn. "Cowering in a corner. He's safe for now."

Levi grunted as he felt his knee flare up in pain. Right. Damaged knee. He had to move from this position, regardless of the heavy fire.

"There might be a gun beneath the bar," Hanji shouted.

Levi nodded, sprinting from the hiding spot and leaping over the ruined chairs. He grabbed one fallen stool, flinging it at one of the gunmen. The man fell to the ground with a yelp, not getting up. Hanji was right behind Levi, cackling madly as she bashed a man upside the head with a bottle of alcohol.

"Try to restrain yourself," Levi muttered.

"But it's our honeymoon!" Hanji exclaimed. "I love being married to you now!" With one final swing, the bottle shattered as the man she was facing off fell to the ground. "Hello boys!" she announced. "If you want Jaque, you'll have to go through us!" Her hair was in a disarray, and she was till wearing Levi's shirt. Yet at the moment, she looked like the abnormal scientist who would face down Titans just for fun.

Yeah, Levi knew she would be fine.

Levi withdrew his cane, activating the hidden blade. At times, he had to give Erwin credit for his sense of style. He wondered what other gadgets the commander could come up with. A bullet whizzed by his ear, and he turned to face the man who dared to shoot at him. His eyes widened when he recognized who it was.

Apparently, the man recognized him as well. "You?!" he sputtered.

"Ah," Levi noted. "The window jumper."

The man from the night before scowled before aiming his gun at Levi. But he never got the chance to fire it as another bottle, this time whisky, was flung into his face.

"And there's my abnormal wife," Levi commented as Hanji sprinted by, still cackling.

"Come on short stuff," Hanji said as she leaped over the bar. "Find that gun!"

Levi followed after her, finally seeking cover from the few adversaries that were left. He landed right next to Ivan and Karen, both ducking from the bullets whizzing by.

"My inn!" Ivan moaned, clutching his hair, or what was left of it.

"Where's your gun?" Levi demanded. At Ivan's shaky point, Levi found the hunting gun. "Perfect," he muttered. He checked the bullets before popping over the bar and aiming his newly retrieved gun.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Karen rise up from her hiding position. She lifted her purple skirts to expose her fake leg. Propping it up on the bar, she pulled at a lever before firing at the men who dared to destroy her inn. Levi stared as the prosthetic leg suddenly became a gun, shooting at everyone. Bullets scoured the area, piercing through every single person who was in her way.

Levi did not even get in a single shot.

Levi stared at Karen with admiration. His face then fell in disappointment as a new revelation hit him. "And you're married," he moaned.

Hanji whacked him upside the head. "So are you!"

"Dear!" Ivan whined. "Pull down your skirts!"

Karen merely smiled, her expression invigorating. "That was fun!" she exclaimed. "I haven't used this baby in a long time." Here, she whacked her fake leg. She shot Levi a smirk. "I told you it was a work of art."

Levi returned her smirk. "My kind of woman," he said. He ignored Hanji's huff and Ivan's threatening gaze. "Now, where's our artist?"

They found Jaque underneath a pile of broken chairs and a split table, moaning in pain. "I think I'm dying," he confessed.

Levi scowled. "It's just a graze on the shoulder. Hardly a flesh wound." He crouched down in the mess. "Now, we can leave you here, or you can tell us where Emilie is."

Jaque stared at him, wide eyed before slumping. "The opera house," he muttered. "She ran off with my jester brother."

Levi was not even going to bother and ask about this dysfunctional family. "Which opera house?" he asked.

" _The Swan House_ ," Jaque stated.

Levi huffed, rolling his eyes. "Of course." Birds, birds, birds. Everything always had to do with birds.

"Hey, that's not far from here!" Hanji chirped. "We can wrap this up before sundown."

Levi nodded. "We still have to get our bags and check out."

"Don't worry about it!" Ivan exclaimed, stumbling out of his hiding space. "Here! I'll get your bags, just don't come back here with your destructive ways!"

"But I happen to like them," Karen protested as her husband dashed off. She cast Levi and Hanji a forlorn look. "And just when things started becoming exciting."

Levi surveyed the damaged room, frowning. "Well, we definitely know how to stir up a crowd, just as Erwin said." He glanced at Hanji. "Looks like we'll have to get the divorce papers signed when we go back. I hate paperwork."

Hanji chuckled, wrapping an arm around Levi. "Maybe we could hold off on the divorce a little while longer."

"Eh, no," he said. "I like being single."

She huffed. "That's a shame, because I think I actually like being married. You know what?" she said with a confident smile. "This was a decent marriage. For three days."

Levi smirked. It hadn't been too bad. Now he knows what it would be like to be married. Life and death situations and late night excursions; Just how a married life with him would be. And if he was going to be married to anyone, at least it would be to a decent friend. "Hey, Four-Eyes," he said. "You're a decent woman. I think I'll keep you."

* * *

 **A/N: There will be a short oneshot sequel to this called "Marital Bliss Indeed." I will upload it right after this chapter. But Fair warning to LevixHanji shippers, you will be sorely disappointed in that story.**


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